While James (six) was young his ruling was done
By Moray's young Earl, James (five's) bastard son;1
"Ye Highlands and Lowlands where have you been?",2
James, Earl of Moray lies dead on the green3
Letters in secret twixt Jimmy and Liz,
Pledged, when she popped off, her throne would be his;
I'll vouch for the same as I've seen the source,
At Edinb'rgh Castle. Authentic? Of course!4
James ruled both countries and wanting a name,5
Called it Great Britain depicting the same,
From "James" the new flag they called Union Jack;6
Left Scotland in haste and never came back,
The job in the south paid him much better.
Scotland to rule he'd just send a letter,
To surrogate Rex, of Lennox, the Duke,7
Who'd note down Jim's whims in his little book.
Jim's number was changed to one from the six,
For England, and Ireland and the Welsh mix;
(This custom deprives all Scots of a queen,
Cos Scotland's own Liz (one) has never been!).
Cath'lic extremists upset with their lot,8
Failed with their gunpowder treason and plot,9
James to blow up like his father before,10
Was Cecil involved? We'd need to know more11
James had the Good Book in English writ down,12
Word eagerly read in country and town.
Scotland did well with an absentee king,
Peace reigned, trade flourished but colonising
Was a vain try---Nova Scotia remains
A sorry reminder of chronic birth pains;
'Twas then giv'n away by Charlie (the one),13
James he succeeded as his eldest son14
Spouse Annie bore James a sevenfold brood,15
But only two lived to reach adulthood,
Else Henry the eldest would have been king,16
Which might have been best and changed everything,
Than having to thole incompetent Charles,
Whose dynastic thoughts just led to quarrels.
The gentry he troubled with loads of new taxes,
The clergy he upset with dangerous faxes,
Trying to link up the Kirk with the State,
Like the C. of E. model....but what sealed his fate
Was the new Prayer Book, mail-ordered to all,
Scots refused it to use! 'Twas now Charlie's call17
His ragtag battalion now marched to the border,18
No match for the Scots he made peace in good order19
An end ruling Scotland by royal decree,
Religious and secular, all were now free;
The swan song of church orders hierarchical,
The Kirk of the Land would not be Episcopal.
The Divine-Right-of-Kings-pitch no longer believed;
Civil war then impeachment saw Charlie relieved20
Of his crown and his head and all earthly matters.
A dram Cromwell drank with the bold Covenanters.21
But the Scots now felt guilty that Charlie was dead,
They'd not been consulted, "Should he lose his head?"
So the rigid conditions they set out before,22
Son Charles accepted---sailed to Moray Firth's shore,
By the fast flowing Spey he caught a few fish,
'Twas the season for salmon and they were "delish".
He meandered on south via the old whisky trail,
Relished a dram at Glenmorangie's sale23
Onwards to Scone to be crowned Charlie (two);24
While into a fit Olly instantly flew,25
And reacted like English kings usually did!
Invaded Scotland in a desperate bid
To crush royal support once and for all;
Charlie's general Leslie scored an own goal,
Thinking Cromwell was whipped, he went to Dunbar,26
Fell into a trap---first set Olly, so far.
Now Charles saw a chance his cause to promote,
Support in the south would join him he thought,
Few did and at Worcester, 'twas game-set and match27
A price on his head, Charlie managed to catch
Forty winks in an oak tree and then by good chance,
Caught the Dover to Calais and landed in France.
General Monck sacked the town of Dundee,28
Slew all the good people unable to flee,
Sought out the crown jewels no doubt to destroy,
But thwarted he was by two ladies' smart ploy,29
The regalia they buried in the Kirk at Kinneff,
Hid well 'til their future return would be safe30
An occupied Scotland for years about eight,
"Usurpation" it bore without too much hate,
Commissioners seven, four English, three Scots,
Gave out civil justice and trade increased lots;
Monck's soldiers kept order like modern cops,
Spent all their wages in local Scots shops.
Then news reached the north that Cromwell was dead,
Like royal succession his son became head,
Dick proved to be useless and chaos prevailed,31
Monck cancelled his hols and south he high tailed,
Summoned MPs who decided it best,
The King to recall if he'd pass the test,32
"No problem", said Charles, "Let the people rejoice,
I'm Chuck the Lad and the Nation's first choice"33
Once more we became a Royalist Nation,
History calls it The Restoration.
Notes
1 Mary's half brother, Lord James Stuart, Regent from 1566 to 1570.
2 Scots song, "Bonny Earl of Moray".
3 He was assassinated by a supporter of Queen Mary.
4 400th anniversary, 2003.
5 Union of the Crowns, 1603.
6 The Union flag was an amalgam of the Scottish flag of St Andrew, reputedly the oldest national flag,
the English flag of St George and the Irish flag of St Patrick.
7 Ludovick Stewart, 2nd Duke of Lennox.
8 Roger Catesby, Guy Fawkes and others.
9 1605.
10 The conspirators were executed.
11 Henry Cecil, James's chief minister.
12 Translation of the Bible, 1611.
13 1632.
14 Charles I, (r.1625-1649). Charles’s elder brother Henry, the Prince of Wales died in his
teens in1612.
Anne of Denmark whom James had married in Norway in 1589.
16 Died in his late teens, 1612.
17 National Covenant, 1638.
18 Bishop's war, (1639-40).
19 Peace of Berwick, 1639.
20 (1642-1647).
21 The English Civil War had started in Scotland, 1649!
22 Terms set out in the National Covenant and the Solemn League & Covenant.
23 Glen-mor-angie, not Glen-mor-angie!
24 1651.
25 Oliver Cromwell.
26 Battle of Dunbar, 1651.
27 Battle of Worcester, 1652.
28 September 1, 1651.
29 Mrs Granger & Mrs Ogilvie, 1652.
30 Now on display in Edinburgh Castle.
31 Richard Cromwell, (1658-9).
32 The Declaration of Breda, 1659.
33 Charles II, (r.1600-1685)
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