VILLAGE GUIDE

THE SISSINGHURST VILLAGE GUIDE

By the Village Idiot

(As there are more sites around the globe covering Sissinghurst Castle than we've had toast for breakfast, this one DOESN'T!. However, if you really, really need some info on it, please click on the picture.. And unless the National Trust has moved it (again!) it should take you right there.

The Friendly Castle Ghost (or is it the bloke who takes your money in the car park??)

What can one say about the Village - The "Lakeside" of the South, the "Bluewater" of Kent? After all, there is a lake of sorts nearby, not forgetting the pond behind the Pub. As for "bluewater", if you stand in the right place on a clear day, you might just see the sky in it, or more likely, your own reflection after a good lunch at the bar....

Yes, Sissinghurst is truly a Shopper's (Partner's) Paradise (mainly because there aren't many and will therefore save your partner a fortune.). There's nightlife, entertainment, clubs, restaurants, bar(s), the whole shooting match!! So without further ado and starting from the top, let's take a trip down The High Street (sorry, The Street!).

Click on the Thumbnails below for the bigger picture..

This is it, the "Hub of the Empire", no village worth it's salt should be without one. Trinity Church - first opened its doors in 1838 to bring enlightenment to the masses, (Electricity was not installed until many years later!) Still packin' 'em in on Sundays, the "Management Team" continue to create, support and maintain worthy and charitable causes. They'll even Baptise you, Marry and Bury you, though not necessarily in that order. (To avoid problems with administration, please do not ask for all three on the same day.) Everyone, however, is welcome to come in and chat with The Boss. See the Notice Board for opening times.

Better still, why don't you check out their very own website right here :-

...And right next door we have the Primary School - Sissinghurst C.E.P. The school has an excellent reputation and judging by the number of cars seen parked in the Playground, the Teacher/Pupil ratio must be getting smaller by the minute. (Or has the driving age been lowered??)

Having been around for years, it has a warm place in the hearts of many - those young enough to be threatened with having to start there in the new school term, and those too old to remember they were there in the first place. Situated midway between the Church and the Pub, it clearly provides a unique educational start down the road of life.( What happens when you reach the crossroads is entirely up to you!! )

FOR AN UPDATE ON THE SCHOOOL PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK.

...And talking of crossroads, (more of a T-Junction really), there's the Pub. Affectionately known as "The Bull" , due to the quality and quantity of conversation generally heard around the bar most weekends, it probably lays claim to being the only pub in Sissinghurst. Or to put it another way, Sissinghurst is arguably the only village in Kent with ONE pub...and at the current rate of progress, only ONE Hop Field!! (nb. before the local geographers reach for their lawyer's phone number, we're talking about the Village, not the "suburbs") . The other village watering-hole was the Camden Arms which sadly burnt itself to the ground in 1995 in favour of residential cottages....Cheers all!

Right across the street from the Pub was a sort of Garage. (Original photograph remains in the interests of historical research - though why anyone would want to research old Gas Stations is beyond us!)

However, for some time now, the site has been redeveloped into a row of small terraced houses and we have to say that the design has blended in very well with the rest of the village buildings.

First off the blocks is one of the many eating establishments. Serving "local" fare, The "Tanned Doory" opened for business in the late twentieth century. There seems to be some controversy surrounding the term "local" in this instance, although the village of Sissinghurst may have, at some point in its history, been twinned with the Town of Upper New Delhi. Nevertheless, we can confirm that the proverbial "scran" on offer, is definitely "good"!. Unfortunately we have no idea what a Doory is...

(Note : The premises were originally used for a Chip Shop and at the time, there were strong rumours that the oil used for frying was somehow piped in from what used to be the garage next door....quite.)

If Trinity Church is the "Hub of the Empire", then this place has got to be the Engine Room ! Apart from its normal function as General Store and Post Office, Mace (it's name was inherited from the tale of the original owner who regularly used one to subdue unruly customers who complained about their newspaper deliveries.) serves as the village Voicemail Network and is rumoured to be the Nerve Centre of the mysterious Bun Penny Club. It is definitely NOT known as "Hempsted's Hypermarket". Nice place for a chat but don't forget to buy something....

Update - The previous owner has retired, God bless him. And a good job he has done over the years too! The new owner is maintaining the status quo and the Engine Room is now "Full ahead Mr. Scott - Florey's Glory has arrived!!"

Over the road we have a puzzle worthy of old Sherlock himself. What REALLY goes on behind the Green (and white) Door with the closed shutters? We do know it used to be the original village Post Office and Store long since abandoned by the Hunchback of Notre Dame. (Well he wasn't really, but those low ceilings and wood beams must have played havoc with his back...) But its purpose now remains a bit of a mystery. Of course you only need to go in and ask the gentleman who seems to be permanently glued to his computer screen, but that would spoil the effect!

HORRORS !! THE PLACE IS UP FOR RENT - NOW WE'LL NEVER KNOW !!

OH Yes we will - Just what we need - ANOTHER antique shop.........as if there isn't enough old stuff around as it is.

Still hungry, then back across the road is the next food establishment, Rankins Restaurant. More local fare but this time featuring in Someone-or-Other's Good Food Guide. Highly recommended. All the good people eat here - you can tell that by the cross over the door..(actually, it's the end-on view of the restaurant sign - who says the camera doesn't lie!)

Not so much DIY more a case of DIFY. (Do It For You.). This quaint looking emporium is choc full of carpets, curtains, materials and any other goodies you need to upgrade your pile. They'll supply 'em, make 'em and fit 'em! All YOU do is Pay 'em!!

A little further down the street you'll find the "Town Hall". Better known to the local population as "St,Georges Institute", there is absolutely no truth in the rumour that the building is full of Old Dragons!

Built during the Napoleonic Wars, this was the first structure to use corrugated sheet metal as roofing material and was one of the first Anderson Air Raid Shelters to be employed during the conflict. It was eventually decommissioned following an annual meeting of the village elders when it was quietly pointed out that aircraft had not yet been invented.

Almost a listed building, it is known and loved by the whole community who don't really care which way it lists as long as it stays standing. Long may it survive. More tea vicar??

Not one of it's best sides, but it's had its uses, as every good junior football player will tell you...

VILLAGE HALL UPDATE

There are plans afoot to redevelop and relocate "St.Georges" to another more salubrious site. It could quite conceivably be this one :-

That WOULD please the Cricket Club...!

There is one other establishment worthy of mention and that is the "KIngs Head". Whilst this looks an extremely inviting and alternative proposition to The Bull above, tipplers are warned not to enter the premises at opening times for the following reasons.

1. There ARE no opening times

2. The Landlord isn't the Landlord - He's the Owner.

3. The pub isn't a pub- it's someone's house.

........all in all, a bit of a dry joint!!

(An interesting bit of info we have come across regarding the Pub - a reader's great Uncle Charlie and his wife Doll were publicans here during the War. Apparently he got the push for illegal dealings in the black market - (which, as everyone knows, was eventually replaced by the Co-Op!!) We gather he then went on to look after the local female talent digging up vegetables - Land Girls?? thanks for that Chris!!)

WELL that's about the end of the road more or less, and since the Whole is the Sum of its Parts, put them all together and there you have it -----