The Incredible Sulk

A man alone, prowling like a caged animal, stopping only to admire himself in the mirrors. He may seem harmless, but don't make him angry, because then Jason Cowen becomes...the Incredible Sulk!

Gasp! As he plots over nominations
Howl! As he wears a white robe and sleeps all day
Tut! As every second word he says is "f**k"
Sigh! As he shoots yet another evil look at Nadia
Laugh! As he glowers while dressed as Widow Twanky
Sob! As he gets worked up about dancing and laughter
Cry! As channel 4 devote two hours of airtime to his "beauty" routine
Throw things at the screen! As he sniffs YET AGAIN

In this extravangaza, available on your small screens for far too long now, you will witness a grown man alternate between aggression and petulance only interrupted by a long pause to readjust his ginger hair! Never before has the world witnessed such vanity, such pettiness and such immaturity! Catch it now before he makes a welcome return to obscurity!

Reviews
"If only I'd known about him earlier, I could have made a good film" - Ang Lee
"Och, and everybody thought we Scots were such nice, God-fearing folks too - should I apply again for next year?" - Cameron Stout
"Channel 4 made me lie, but clearly he's evil" - Geoffrey Beattie
"Who?" - Vanessa Nimmo

Thanks to Doll for the inspiration!

Caveman Jason

Me in cave. Me watch cavegirl Vanessa cook me big steak on magic hot orange thing. Me will club her later. Me go out hunting - me is big strong man, me is better than the chimpanzees. Me see other caveman - he look at me funny. Me follow him - me getting excited - me forget about cavegirl. Me turn around, and me show him me prizewinning bum. He laugh at me, and say 'that no win no prize'. Me angry now, me no like disrespect. Me chase caveman. Me catch caveman. Me want caveman.....