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Reverend
John Lycett
The death of a
family member or friend must be the most traumatic experience in
anyone’s life. When someone dies it may come as a great shock,
sometimes the death may be expected, but nothing prepares you for the
emotional distress of losing someone.
This article has
been compiled with the aim to give guidance for the Priest when
approached by the bereaved for advice.
The main
requirements in England and Wales are that the death is certified by
a Medical Doctor or Coroner. Following this, the death must be
registered with a Registrar of Births, Marriages and Deaths, and then
the deceased is either buried or cremated.
A few things
that we must remember:
A Funeral Ceremony
does not have to take place in a place of worship.
You do not have to
use a Funeral Director.
There is no
official requirement for the use of a Religious Minister.
You do not have to
have a Funeral Ceremony.
There is of course
more options concerning the content of a Funeral Ceremony than many
people realise: woodland burial and many other different types of
natural burial are increasingly available.
The majority of
people choose to make their arrangements through a Funeral Director.
The selection of the Funeral Director may be based on the advice of
friends, your own previous experience, or the recommendation of a
professional advisor. If the use of the Funeral Director is required,
please note that it is strongly recommended that the organisation
that is appointed is a member of a Trade Association that is related
to that profession. Listed below are the NAFD and SAIF, however there
are others that are reputable:
The National
Association of Funeral Directors (NAFD).
The National
Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors (SAIF).
A SIMPLE FUNERAL:
Most people would
probably require the Funeral Director to provide the following
services as a minimum:
Make all the
necessary arrangements.
Provide
appropriate staff.
Provide a suitable coffin.
Transfer the
Deceased from the place of death to the Funeral Director’s premises.
Care for the
Deceased prior to the funeral.
Provide a hearse
to the nearest cemetery or crematorium.
Arrange for burial
or cremation as appropriate.
Embalming, viewing
of the Deceased, or providing a limousine for mourners are optional extras.
FUNERAL COSTS:
Costs for the same
services may vary considerably from one Funeral Director to another.
You may wish to get more than one quote to compare costs.
"Disbursements"
are fees paid to others, eg for Crematorium, Cemetery, Place of
Worship, Ministers, Doctors’ Certificates, Newspaper
Announcements, Flowers etc. Ask the Funeral Director for a written
quotation detailing all these fees.
Funeral payments
are normally recoverable from the Deceased’s estate.
Remember the
cheapest service is not necessary the best value.
FINANCIAL HELP:
Whoever arranges
the funeral they are responsible for paying the bill, so check where
the money will come from first. If the bereaved are finding it
difficult to pay for the funeral that they have to arrange, they may
be able to get help with costs from the Social Fund, providing the
person arranging the funeral or their partner receive one of the following:
Income Support.
Housing Benefit.
Council Tax Benefit.
Job Seekers
allowance, if this is income based.
Disabled
Person’s Tax Credit.
Working
Family’s Tax Credit.
Information about
these benefits and payments is usually available from the Local
Authority Department.
GUIDANCE FOR
THE BEREAVED
What to do when
death occurs:
AT HOME
Contact your
Doctor who will issue the family with a Cause of Death Certificate in
a sealed envelope; this must be taken to the Registrar. The envelope
containing the certificate should not be opened as this could
invalidate the registration of death.
These days most
families prefer that the deceased is conveyed to the Funeral
Director’s Chapel of Rest, and this can be arranged upon issue
of the Cause of Death Certificate by the Doctor. A telephone call is
all that is needed to the Funeral Director to effect this task. Most
reputable Funeral Director’s provide a professional caring
service 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
One very important
point to remember that if it is the wish of the family that the
Deceased is not to be conveyed to the Funeral Director’s
premises, everything should be done to help and support the family
with their request. The Deceased can be kept at home until the day of
the funeral, unless the death has to be reported to the Coroner. The
Priest should be on hand for the pastoral support that will be
needed. The Funeral Director is always available for advice to
support the family with their requests.
REGISTRATION:
By law, a death
must be registered within five days. Under normal circumstances the
Cause of Death Certificate should be taken to the registrar.
TAKE WITH
YOU TO THE REGISTRAR:
Envelope
containing Cause of Death Certificate issued by the Doctor.
The Deceased’s
medical card if available.
Any war pension
book belonging to the Deceased.
Birth certificate
(if available).
THE
REGISTRAR WILL ASK:
Date and place of
death, usual address of Deceased.
Full name of
Deceased (maiden name if married woman).
Date and place of
birth and occupation.
If Deceased was a
widow, her late husband’s name and occupation.
If Deceased was
married, date of birth of surviving spouse.
Whether the
Deceased was receiving a pension or allowance from public funds.
THE
REGISTRAR WILL GIVE YOU:
A copy of entry in
the registrar of deaths often called the Death Certificate. There is
a nominal charge for this and any further copies required for insurance.
A Certification of
Registration. This is free and is for DSS purposes only.
A Certificate for
Burial or Cremation (green form) this must be given to the Funeral
Director as soon as possible so that the funeral may be held.
Advice leaflets as
may be required.
DEATH
REPORTED TO THE CORONER:
There are number
of reasons why a death may have to be reported to the Coroner and
under such circumstances special procedures may be necessary. However
there is no cause for any undue alarm. Any sudden or unexplained
death must be reported to the Coroner who has a duty to investigate
and ascertain the cause of death. Sometimes the Coroner, by simple
inquiry may be able to establish the cause of death and normal
registration procedures can be carried out.
However, the cause
of death may have to be established by post mortem and an inquest. If
this is the case then the Coroner will advise on procedures. Please
take note that funeral arrangements can still be carried out. Contact
a Funeral Director as soon as possible. The Funeral Director will be
fully conversant with the likely referral to the Coroner and will be
able to advise you of any action that may be necessary.
IN HOSPITAL
OR NURSING/RESIDENTIAL HOME:
The Nursing Staff
or appropriate officer will be conversant with procedures and will
advise you when and from where to collect the Cause of Death Certificate.
GUIDANCE ON CREMATION:
The big question
of whether to bury or cremate can be the most difficult decision for
a family to make following the death of a loved one. People are
probably less knowledgeable about cremation than burial.
CODE OF
CREMATION PRACTICE/GUIDING PRINCIPLES:
All cremations
taken at crematoria in the UK are undertaken in accordance with the
Federation of British Cremation Authorities Code of Cremation
Practice and the Institute of Cemetery and Crematorium
Management’s Guiding principles.
RIGHTS OF INSPECTIONS:
People have the
right to inspect the Crematorium if they so wish. I’m sure that
Crematorium staff would be available to guide you around. However, it
is advisable to contact your local Crematorium to inquire and make arrangements.
INDEPENDENT CREMATION:
Most people choose
to use the services of a Funeral Director to arrange a funeral. It is
perfectly acceptable for the next of kin to independently arrange a
cremation. A Funeral Director or Local Authority would advise on
procedures and Statutory Documents required.
COFFINS:
With cremation the
use of a coffin is essential to allow the Deceased’s body to be
safely placed into the cremator. A coffin can normally be purchased
from a Funeral Director or a coffin manufacturer. There are
restrictions on coffin construction and design, which prohibit the
use of certain contaminant materials.
CREMATORIUM EMMISSIONS:
All Crematoria are
regulated under Part 1 of the Environmental Protection Act 1990.
Cremators should
be monitored in accordance with the 1999 Pollution Prevention and
Control Act. Further amendments to this act have resulted in a
statutory requirement for 50% of all cremations undertaken in the UK
to be subject to mercury abatement by 31st December 2012.
PLACING
THINGS IN OR ON THE COFFIN.
It’s very
common during on and leading up to the funeral that the bereaved wish
to place in and on the coffin personal items. On most occasions the
request is met, but there can be restrictions.
Cremation
There are
restrictions in this case. Anything that is in and securely attached
to the coffin must remain throughout the cremation process. This does
not apply to palls, flags, floral tributes, coffin covers or items
that are to be returned to the family. The material that the coffin
has been constructed with, handles, religious symbols, interior
furnishings and clothing must be of approved standard that must not
pollute the environment when cremated. Other items that are placed
inside the coffin must be made of materials for this reason.
Cans of liquid,
bottles, glass in photo frames, containers of different sorts are not
allowed as they will cause an explosion during the cremation.
Pacemakers and such like must be removed, this is the responsibility
of the Medical Doctor who completes the Statutory Document for
cremation. The Funeral Director must also be responsible for the
oversight of this. If for some reason a medical implant such as a
Pacemaker is not removed and goes into the cremator with the
deceased, a nasty explosion causing damage to the cremator or injury
to crematorium staff will be a definite. For these and other reasons
restrictions must be enforced. Please seek advice from your Funeral
Director before advising a family.
Burial
In the main there
are no restrictions, and most any thing can be placed in the coffin
with the deceased. However we would not want to contaminate the
ground and common sense must be used at all times. Again if unsure,
seek advice from your Funeral Director.
CREMATED REMAINS;
There are several
options available regarding the final resting place of Cremated Remains:
Cremated Remains
can be placed under the soil.
Buried in the
ground in a small casket.
Scattered in
area’s designated for this purpose.
Buried/Scattered
at sea.
Private Disposal.
COUNSELLING/BEREAVEMENT
AFTERCARE
Many excellent
books, pamphlets and studies have been produced on this very
important subject, so the following text is not intended to instruct
the Priest in any of the techniques outlined in any publications but
rather bring to the front the importance of this ministry, and I must
say that Bereavement Counselling and Aftercare is a ministry by
itself. To offer Christian Love to all, no matter what circumstance
is the fundamental nature of funeral/bereavement ministry.
How can we help
the bereaved? The starting point really is to increase our
understanding of what their needs are. This involves a lot of
listening, personal reflection and study. Some might explore the
possibility of embarking on a Bereavement Counselling/Aftercare
Course, which would be of enormous benefit to the Priest.
The death of a
loved one must be the most traumatic experience in anyone’s life
and many are unable to come to terms with this loss. Some people seem
to find the strength to cope and move forward with their bereavement,
but some don’t. It’s after the funeral when some kind of
normality is expected, that life has to go on. It’s also this
time that many experience the natural effects of grief. It’s
this time when that person needs help and support.
Most of us at
sometimes, past and present, have or could be in a position to visit
a person who has been bereaved. To the newcomer this could be very
daunting, as the uncertainty of the reception by the bereaved is
unsure. However, this act of compassion and love is seen as a
privilege. It’s maybe the listener or helper that is not
connected with the family is seen as the brick. The ministry of
listening to a bereaved person is the core act of bereavement care.
Listen to how they are feeling and try to be with them where they are.
Under Community
Care Legislation, local authorities have the means to assess the
needs of older and disabled people. Services can be arranged to help
them live in their own homes:
Home help.
Home care.
Meals on wheels
Lunch, social
clubs or day centres.
Local voluntary groups.
Private care agencies.
Help the aged.
Community of faith.
Contact your local
services department for advice.
It is very useful
to build up a directory of organisations that could assist people
come to terms with their bereavement.
May
their souls and the souls of all the Faithful Departed through the
mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen. |
