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A
wedding blessing can take place any time after a civil wedding
conducted by a registrar
and
it may take place in any suitable location.
f.a.q.
- I am divorced, can I still have a wedding blessing?
answer
- yes, that isn't a problem.
The
blessing:
Wedding
blessings are very flexible and can follow a traditional
denominational format, be completely re-written/adapted by the couple
themselves under the guidance of an 'On Call' priest, or be a blend
of both.
Wedding
blessings can also include baptism of children if the couple have
been living together and have already started a family and also may
include a short form of communion or nuptial mass if requested.
Couples
may also wish to include traditions from across the world. The use
of unity candles and hand fasting are becoming increasingly popular
and can be included appropriately. There are many such visual symbols
of the coming together of a couple that can be easily be adapted.
The
most important thing about a wedding blessing is that each couple
makes the wedding blessing their own. It needs to be relevent,
personal, and allow the couple to express their hopes and
expectations to each other, to their family and friends, and to ask
for and receive God's blessing.
Services
ideally should be between 35 - 55 minutes depending on what is
included. There is no limit on the number of readings and hymns or
other inclussions other than time, and it is perfectly acceptable for
family and friends to contribute in some way.
At
least one reading from the bible should be used as part of a wedding
blessing but readings can come from other sources, always providing
that they are appropriate.
You
may meet as many time as you wish and a final rehearsal with your On
Call priest is always a good idea. He or she will go through all the
service details and walk you through the ceremony with you to help
make sure that nothing has been overlooked and that you will be
relaxed and able to fully enjoy this very special day.
The
blessing structure:
The
blessing of a wedding usually contains several elements and may be
structured as below although there are many other forms which may be used.
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Introduction
and welcome
Declarations
by the couple
Giving
the family blessing (replacing what used to be called 'giving away')
The
offering of support and encouragement by family and friends
The
vows or re-affirrmation of promises
The
blessing and exchange of rings
The
blessing of the couple and prayers
Communion/Nuptial
Mass if required
Closing
blessings
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The
readings, hymns and other traditional elements have not been
included to make understanding the basic structure easier.
Service
sample (the vows and exchange of rings)
After
the Gospel (and homily), the husband and wife stand before the priest.
N.
and N., you have come here today to seek the blessing of God and of
his Church upon your marriage. I require, therefore, that you
promise, with the help of God, to fulfill
the obligations which Christian Marriage demands.
The
priest then addresses the husband, saying
N.,
you have taken N. to be your wife. Do you promise to love her,
comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health; and,
forsaking all others, to be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?
The
Husband answers
I
do.
The
priest then addresses the wife, saying
N.,
you have taken N. to be your husband. Do you promise to love him,
comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health; and,
forsaking all others, to be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?
The
Wife answers
I
do.
The
Priest then addresses the congregation, saying
Will
you who have witnessed these promises do all in your power to uphold
these two persons in their marriage?
People
We
will.
If
a ring or rings (not a requirement) are to be blessed, the wife
extends her hand (and the husband extends his hand) toward the Priest,
Priest
Bless,
O Lord, this ring to be a sign of the vows by which this man and
this woman have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ
our Lord.
All
Amen.
The
Priest joins the right hands of the husband and wife and says
Those
whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.
The
Congregation responds
Amen.
-o-
As
has already been stated, it is traditional to have additional words
and music as part of a wedding blessing to give it a richness and
sense of completeness. It is quite acceptable to have friends and
family make their own individual contributions in the form of
readings, sharing of memories or musically. Family and friends are a
great resource and are often overlooked.
Your
On Call priest will be happy to advise you how to balance all the
elements you may wish to include and has a wealth of experience and
knowledge you can draw from.
Chosing
the readings
This
can be difficult so some suggested readings from scripture are
offered below to get you started.
Suggested
readings: Old Testament
Genesis
1:26-28 (Male and female he created them)
Genesis
2:4-9, 15-24 (A man cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh)
Song
of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7 (Many waters cannot quench love)
Tobit
8:5b-8 (New English Bible) (That she and I may grow old together)
Suggested
readings: New Testament
1
Corinthians 13:1-13 (Love is patient and kind)
Ephesians
3:14-19 (The Father from whom ever family is named)
Ephesians
5:1-2, 21-33 (Walk in love, as Christ loved us)
Colossians
3:12-17 (Love which binds everything together in harmony)
1
John 4:7-16 (Let us love one another for love is of God)
Suggested
readings: Psalms
Appropriate
Psalms are 67, 127, and 128.
Suggested
readings: New Testament
Matthew
5:1-10 (The Beatitudes)
Matthew
5:13-16 (You are the light...Let your light so shine)
Matthew
7:21,24-29 (Like a wise man who built his house upon the rock)
Mark
10:6-9,13-16 (They are no longer two but one)
John
15:9-12 (Love one another as I have loved you)
Other readings
There are a
great number of good quality non-biblical readings that can be
included and are appropriate. It is appropriate to have at least one
reading from the bible if you wish to include one or more of these
readings. If you woukld like to receive downloadable packs of
suitable non-religious readings, please e-mail.
If your
wedding blessing follows directly on from a civil service -
This statement
has been agreed and jointly published by Registration
Services for North Yorkshire County Council and
On Call
Please give some
thought to your civil ceremony - it is an essential and integral part
of the day's celebrations and should not be treated lightly or unduly
shortened to allow for a wedding blessing. The Registrars are
responsible for conducting the legal proceedings and your blessing
cannot take place without it.
Although by law it
may not have any religious content, the civil wedding is well
constructed and has many options worth considering for inclusion as
an integrated part of the day's celebrations. The Registrars will
help you choose the content that's right for you.
If you have
arranged for your wedding blessing to take place in the same room as
the civil ceremony, you should, as a professional courtesy, inform
your registrars and allow some time between services so that they can
complete all that is required of them before your blessing takes
place. Your registrars will advise you how much time they need.
We all want to
make this 'A Day to Remember'.
wedding
blessing resources link
Contact
'On Call'
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