Where do old action stars go when they aren't stars any more? Well, in the case of Jean-Claude Van Damme the answer is Spain; more specifically to Filmax International, the production company behind a whole bunch of "Video Premieres" (the posh new name for DTV) including Dagon and Beyond Re-Animator, as well as a slew of Van Damme projects Starting With Replicant, through The Order to Derailed and finishing up with this September's In Hell a.k.a. The Savage - the latter, like this movie and Maximum Risk, directed by Ringo Lam. Poor bastard.

Jean-Claude Van Damme plays a notorious serial killer who preys on single mothers. His habit of burning the bodies after death has earned him the nickname ‘The Torch‘. On his trail is Jake Riley (Michael Rooker), a grizzled Seattle cop presumably annoyed because he seems to be tailing The Torch through Vancouver. Torchie has a habit of phoning Jake after each of his kills, which is worth seeing for probably the only time you'll hear Van Damme say, "I'm too smart."

Jake has had enough, and after one particularly violent pursuit he finally retires to open the boat repair shop he's always dreamed of. His relaxation is short-lived, because he is approached by government flunky Stan Reisman (Ian Robison). It seems that the National Security Force (I wonder if their corporate slogan is "Like the NSA, but with more FORCE!") have a top secret project to create psychic clones of terrorists that they can use to track down the originals. Jake dismisses this as the dumbest sci-fi McGuffin he's ever heard and goes home to mend some boats. Well, actually he doesn't, but trust me - before long you'll wish he had...

So the government's top boffins have decided to test out the process by creating a double of The Torch, to see if Jake can use this Replicant to track the killer down. Jake puts the rather obvious question of why can't they just feed the Replicant's face into the Interpol computer and see what turns up, to which Reisman replies that the project is Top Secret. Ah, good job you didn't give your name, the name of your agency, the details and location of the project and a tour of the lab to some unstable retired cop then, isn't it... oops.

Anyhow, Replicant is born and spends a while in a metal room just down the hall from Bridget Fonda's in the Assassin. He is apparently without any speech or motor skills but there's a handy instructional video that teaches him how to walk, stand, sit, win an Olympic gold in Gymnastics and so on. Anyway, the Top Secret project is given over to Jake's custody to see if he will be any use. And here comes the film's biggest problem - yeah, I know what you're thinking: after all the psychic clone garbage, HERE is the bad bit? I'm afraid so - Jake assumes that Replicant is just like the killer and proceeds to treat him like crap. Oh sure, some antagonism in a cop buddy flick is desirable, but Jake is a total abusive bastard. He spends the remainder of the film randomly beating and humiliating Replicant to such an extent that by the end I was rooting for The Torch. What makes it worse is that Replicant appears to see Jake as a parental figure, and despite his considerable strength never fights back. Instead he innocently fawns after Jake and tries to win approval like a puppy, and the effect is very much as you would expect if you watched Michael Rooker abuse a puppy for 90 minutes. It's by far the most unpleasant relationship I've seen in a movie for a long time.

Anyway, Jake takes Replicant to the crime scenes and sure enough he begins to 'remember' what the killer has done. This only serves to screw him up further as the innocent Replicant is exposed to images of blood and carnage. Against orders Jake uses Replicant's picture to get a match on the police computer and along with Jake's cop girlfriend Angie (Catherine Dent) they race to The Torch's pad. Replicant becomes agitated and manages to bust out of the cop car he's handcuffed into, in time to warn Jake that the place is booby-trapped. The good guys make it out just as the place blows up, and Replicant spots The Torch in the street. Confused, he chases the killer into a bar and the two fight. Both escape and Replicant finds himself lost and with an attractive young hooker (Marnie Alton). Of course her pimp and his goons are pissed to discover he doesn't have any money and would have kicked his arse - except that he can mimic anything he sees and has picked up The Torch's kung fu skills.

Jake finds Replicant and becomes Mr. Nice, what with saving his life and all. Jake explains to the confused clone that he is the double of a murderer but that doesn't make him bad, but the tranquil moment is interrupted because Replicant gets a flash of The Torch attacking again. They race to a hotel, find the latest victim and Jake gets the drop on The Torch, but Replicant stops him from making the kill to talk to his 'brother'. The Torch is delighted to have a new playmate and asks Replicant to join him ("and together we can rule the Galaxy as father and so..." sorry, don't know what came over me there).

When Jake gets loose he is furious and starts treating Replicant like crap again, and had I been the clone I wouldn't have told him that he has psychically discovered the killer's name. It seems that he is Luc Savard and as a kid he was abused by his mother, who burned down their house with the kid's father in it. Luc still visits his mother in hospital, but with a potential double to talk to he's bored with her disapproval and kills her. Jake and Replicant get to the hospital too late to save her but stop Luc from escaping, setting up the final fight between The Torch and Replicant - who can now match his kickboxing moves exactly...

Replicant really pissed me off. It was a movie with the potential to be another Timecop - a fun-if-silly sci-fi action film that could have become a minor Van Damme classic. Instead we get a story where the hero spends the entire movie physically and mentally abusing a big friendly guy with the mind of a child, and though I watch some unpleasant crap I just couldn't stomach this approach. What makes it worse is that Van Damme is actually quite good as Replicant, silly early scenes of him leaping about like a monkey and learning how to eat notwithstanding. An unkind person might suggest that wandering around looking vacant isn't much of a stretch for him, but I'm not that guy so let's give him some credit. He seems genuinely wide-eyed and innocent, as well as hurt and uncomprehending when Jake is laying about him with the butt of his gun - which just makes the latter's behaviour seem worse. Van Damme is also surprisingly good as The Torch, developing an air of real menace. A really unkind person might suggest that what with the revelations of domestic violence in Jean-Claude's past this isn't much of a stretch either, but fair play to the guy; he tried something different in this movie and pretty much pulled it off.

Apart from Van Damme the cast is pretty routine. Rooker, star of Henry Portrait Of A Serial Killer, could be any generic grizzled cop actor and everyone else is forgettable in the extreme. I was surprised that Angie wasn't developed more, and given that she was a single mother I was expecting The Torch to go after her at some point. When that didn't happen she was pretty much forgotten. Still, given the unpleasant undertone and a dreadfully contrived twist ending, this is the least of the script's problems.

The fight scenes are well done, although they are very brief. The Torch's long hair allows him to be doubled without any obvious CGI trickery, and the end result is some entertaining chopsockey. The far-too-short final fight, with Replicant exactly matching The Torch's moves, is very cool. I guess the editor thought so too, what with him showing it three times from different angles...

It's worth at least renting the DVD for the hysterical audio commentary, which is one of those where the two participants are recorded separately and then edited together. Michael Rooker chats amiably enough, but the real fun stuff is from Van Damme. He begins every comment with a salutation along the lines of "Hi, this is Jean-Claude Van Damme!" and ends with, "OK, I'll see you later!" or similar. I figure he wasn't really watching the movie but popped into the recording booth now and again when a thought occurred to him. I should in fairness mention that he sounds jolly affable and cheerful throughout, in contrast to his rather infamous public image.

As far as I am aware this is the last movie where Jean-Claude plays more than one character, and I am forced to conclude that two Van Dammes in a movie is almost always two too many. I do feel kinda sorry for the guy, as I get the impression he carries on making movies out of a genuine desire to entertain his shrinking fan base, and here I am ragging on him in every review. Having said that I have a strange fascination with the guy and own a sizeable chunk of his body of work on DVD - and one of these days my resolve will fail and I'll buy Derailed to see if the train effects are as bad as everyone claims. When that day comes, you know where to look for a review...

Dave Thomas, 29^th August 2003