I said I'd put some reviews up so here are some reviews.
Here's one from Saturday 02/02/08 at The Mosley Arms, Breightmet, Bolton.
Whilst we made lots of new chums, there was no one there who actually knew us,
so here's a review from Sinful 'Ickle' Dr Arson, the world's smaller bass
player:
Gig at The Mosley Arms, Red Lane, Bolton.
I omitted the word 'Brightmet' there after I mentioned the locale in
conversation with a work colleague on Monday morning (4th Feb) and he choked on
his coffee resulting in the amusing sight of brown slime being ejected at speed
from his nostrils, apparently his brother had run a pub there for a couple of
years before the men in white jackets turned up with an offer of alternative
accomodation.
John at The Glass Barrel had asked us to do the gig at short notice as a favour,
something to do with his darts or pool team (I'm still trying to work that
one out!) and as he's a top man, we readily agreed, thinking we'd have a night
of biker orientated mutual entertainment.
Oops.
As ordered, we arrived early(ish) to set up, only to find that this was to make
sure we wouldn't interfere with the smooth running of the first 'Act' - a
singer/comedian whose details and performance I won't go into here, think
Bernard Manning crossed with Karaoke (he was good at what he does, as they say) -
his second set to separate our sets. We spent a fair bit of time, when not
playing, enjoying some nicotine and the view over Manchester from our elevated
position in the car park - apart from Peter, who mercilessly raided the mushy
peas and more solid pies on offer (I was too busy enjoying Holt's Bitter to
bother with solids!).
All the time we did play our nifty (If a little too heavy for the people that
had come to see the cancelled 'soul' band) stuff, I was expecting a Peter Kay
lookalike in a wheelchair to shout 'NEXT' and end the tyranny of the audition!
All's well that etc etc - there were some folk that really got into it and a few
cards were handed out for potential new gigs.
Most notably of all, however, was the magnificent boob job displayed to these
gobsmacked rockers during the penultimate tune - 'Whole Lotta Rosie' - and we
all agreed afterwards that not a penny was wasted. Thinks....forgot to take a
camera - Damn!
All this notwithstanding, John, of Glass barrel fame - WHAT THE BLAZES WERE YOU
THINKING? WHAT WERE WE DOING THERE? Ah well, there goes another one for the
diary, or should that be dairy......think mammaries, go on, you know you want
to. (Actually, I'm a leg man, myself - Ed)
Sinful Dr. Arson.
I got this next one the other day after our gig at The Bakers on 21/04/07. Now,
although I am not fooled for a minute by this hogwash, I am bound by precedent
to publish it for you delectation. So here it is:
"Hi to you. I thought that teh gig on saturday at
the bakers vault was a great gig. The sound was alot clearer than before and the
soundman was v. dishy. Luv Viv."
OK, so we'll overlook the typos, but "Vivian Cryzowsky" already?!?!
Pah! Actually, as I'm sure you were just thinking yourself, whilst the name
Vivian is epicene (look it up you dullard) in nature, my understanding is that
when spelled with an "a" it is masculine (witness Vivian "The
Ginger Geezer" Stanshall) and with an "e" it is feminine (see
Vivien "Scarlett O'Hara" Leigh or Vivienne "Mad Ugly Woman Who
Wants You To Dress Up As A Tramp At Huge Expense" Westwood). So it seems
that our Chrissy ("Cloth" in his professional capacity,
"Chopper" to those who witnessed him emerging from a very nippy River
Wharfe sometime in the early summer of 1990) has an admirer with a penchant for
playing 'catch the fishy'! Ooh-er!
Here's another real not-made-up-by-me-honest one (in fact,
none of them are) from The Thatched House website. As promised, completely
unadulterated....
CASUAL-TIES 29th April 2005
In a revanchist retro - driven music miasma that passes for 'the rock scene'
in Stockport there are times, dear reader when ones aural sensitivities are so
sated by perennial renditions of oft heard rock classics that one simply loses
the will to carry on existing, and so it was with particular auditory
refreshment in mind, that ones spouse and one dragged our care-worn carcasses to
the Thatched to witness the musical perambulations of famed and revered beat
combo The Casualties.
They are not to be confused with the American band of the same cognomen whose
only contribution that I recall was a single snappily entitled 'Craunch my
Marmoset'.
The Casualties are a far more cerebral band that construct their songs with a
deliberation that could easily be mistaken for Post Heglian dichotomy but to the
trained ear their material positively screams Neo Newtonian Dogma or, as I heard
once heard Stella mention in a rare moment of lucidity 'Post Jamesian
Pragmatism' - and to be fair I can see both arguments as the non - paying
customers on Friday will happily attest.
Composed of a selection of talented musicians who can easily be confused with
all out piss artists (never let Steve Earnshaw kiss you when pissed - you might
catch anything from baldness to Leprosy), the CTs depend mightily on their
prodigious output of self-penned material interlarded with 'classic Rock
Classics' such as 'Framed' (Sensational Alex Harvey Band) and Dear Prudence (The
Prefab Four). Both these quintessential tunes are delivered with great panache
and guitarral dexterity and have been re - arranged to create maximum impact at
the point of delivery. Peter Gallagher is surely the finest virtuoso guitarist
in Stockport and has an astonishing sonic armoury that is deployed from a
variety of guitars the latest of which being the Gibson Flying V. This
particular model is also deployed by Steve Earnshaw who, far from just chipping
away on rhythm underpins the eclectic yet aurally stunning Gallagher with
Aeolian cadences in counterpoint to the thematic nature of each composition. In
contrast Arnie Furniss in partnership with Dave Gibson on bass and drums provide
an harmonious dimension to the two guitars and at all times are integral to the
cumulative sound that is produced by this extraordinary quartet.
The Casuals have been in existence since I can remember and over the years have
written a variety of songs some of which appear on their album (of indifferent
recording quality) entitled Mustn't Grumble. A better view of their output can
be garnered from their website where you can download three excellent tracks
from the band as well as experiencing Earnshaws 'stream of consciousness'
ramblings.
However - let us return to the night in question and it came as a large surprise
to me that they started with a song I'd never heard called 'Moscow in Disguise'
- I asked Mr Earnshaw about this song but sadly he'd been drinking (pints of
lager with a Malibu top I think) and all I was able to glean was that it was
written by Arnie Furniss and farble, beeble, barble, burble. This was followed
by the excellent Fine Time and then the old Peter Green classic Green Manalishi.
By this time the band had managed to equalise their sound balance which is vital
with the CTs as they play from a dynamic that requires a controlled violence
held in check much in the manner of underground nuclear testing.
'Harold' is not a song that they play often and is very dark with many umbra
especially when Mr Gallagher pauses to utter the words 'Give me the gun Harold'.
Why they play Paint it black I'll never know - its not a great song in the first
place, still I suppose it follows on from the darkness of Harold - er, black,
doomy etc.
However the next self - penned tune, the excellent 'Turn yourself around' with
its reggae to rock feel is always a treat and this particular night was played
with immense verve beautifully held together with Dave Gibson's immaculate
timing changes.
'Jamie and the engineer' is a song I don't understand although I quite like it
especially when messers Furniss and Earnshaw look out of the window - you have
to know the lyrics to know what I'm going on about.
Katanga is an early CTs song and does nothing for me but the crowd liked it and
it drew to a close the first set.
Obviously fuelled by several libations at the fount of life the CTs came out for
the second half in blistering form and after an instrumental that I neglected to
learn its title they went Framed, Radar Love and then a stunning version of late
but fairly unlamented in the Thatched Elvis Presley's Heartbreak Hotel which had
undergone some crucial re arrangement to sensational effect.
Arnie Furniss then announced my wife's favourite. No, not a large Baileys but
the powerful Dax Cobra - almost as powerful as the car itself.
The standout 'Dear Prudence' was delivered with Douglas Adams - like Pan -
Galactic Gargle Blaster shock and this was followed by something called
Demolition Man which I can't seem to remember. Next up was 'Surrender' and you
really have to hear this to appreciate it as no amount of words can adequately
describe it or do it justice. Suffice to say that it has a Ravel like sequence
and is many facetted. It also is the standout/showcase for the band and having
played it they are ready to take the audience home. No, not in a minibus.
They deliver their knockout punch with the Kinks' You Really Got Me' SAHB's
'Delilah' and Motorheads' Ace of Spades' This little lot leaves the audience
stamping and shouting for more. Sadly it is normally followed by the poxy
'Whiskey in the Jar or worse, 'Whole Lotta Rosie' both of which I loath even in
original form.
In this final paragraph I feel it incumbent upon me to air my personal opinion
of the Casualties.
1: They are the best and most original band in Stockport
2: They are not so big headed as to know it
3: They transmit a message to other bands that reads 'write some fucking
material and stop playing crap'
4: They deserve a wider acclaim
5: They owe me a drink for this.
Ok that's it except for the fact that you need to check out their web site at
http://www.casual-ties.co.uk/
Pen 'El Rasp' Roberts
The above is lifted directly from http://www.thatched-live.co.uk/reviews/rock.htm. So there you have it. You have to say it's a fair fist
of a review, not least since Pen is unfairly burdened by his Welsh heritage and
so it's doubly jolly impressive for someone writing in their second language.
The text is completely untainted by my fairy light paws. I do however think it
unfortunate that, splendidly flattering though this review is, "El
Rasp" doesn't actually say who was drunk when the somewhat unfortunate
drunken snogging episode took place. To allay any fears you, dear heart, may
have, it was me who was, er, "under the weather". I therefore have the
moral equivalent of a note from my Mum and thus take no responsibility for my
actions ("so what else is new" - my mum). Had I not been, then the whole frankly
rather sordid spit-exchange thing would not have occurred. I'm just not that
kind of guy. When you're a CT you get a lot of this sort of stuff going on
around you, people looking to take advantage when you're a bit, well, relaxed,
but it's always a surprise when you get dragged in unawares.... Apparently
Furniss hasn't furnished the due beer so I'll snot him one next time I see him
to ensure he fulfils band obligations in future. The arse. Nice review Pen,
cheers. The CTs xxxx.
Cobwebs, indeed!
