Guest report from Dan on his second Monopoly Crawl attempt with Chris - 30th November 2007....

In preparation for the possibility of finding it hard to get into establishments in the evening we both wore smart clothes and shoes. We also decided to have a kitty that we each put £60 into. After breakfast we set off to Westminster tube station and a quick blat down the Jubilee line to London Bridge - from here we took a train to South Bermondsey and proceeded to walk the 15-20 mins to The Lord Nelson on Old Kent Road. After waiting outside for about half an hour we were let in at 10:55am to order 2 halves of Stella - left at 11:01am not bad seeing as how last nights chinky needed to escape.

A brisk walk back the way we came and on up Rotherhithe New Road to Surrey Quays tube station. From here we got the East London line to Whitechapel and visited The Blind Beggar on Whitechapel Road . We entered at 11:44am, remembering my pledge to drink weaker beer I opted for a Carling to Chris' Grolcsh. I decided to test Chris' will power by sitting next to the iTbox. This caused some swearing and still he couldn't resist touching the damn thing - left at 11:49am. From here back down to the tube and the Hammersmith and City line...

...where we got stuck in a tunnel at Aldgate for nigh on half an hour (not a good start). Eventually got to Kings Cross Station and its bar The Duke of York at 12:26pm I opted for a half of London Pride whereas Chris needed a vodka red bull - big mistake - over £5 for the VRB. If we needed too many of these that kitty would soon go. From here up the Northern line to the Angel Islington for the Nags Head on upper street. Entered at 12:45pm quickly had a Adnams (me) and a San Miguel (Chris) before leaving at 12:48pm and diving back down the tube to Kings Cross. Exit the station onto Euston Road and the Euston Flyer - a regular haunt - got in at 1:07pm and I had a Discovery and Chris a Staropramen. Feeling peckish we raided the kitty for a couple of bags of McCoys. Having stuffed our faces we left at 1:14pm. We lost a little time here on our way back to Kings Cross because Chris always lets people push in front of him, the well mannered fool - this is London.

Back up the Northern line to Angel and back towards Kings Cross by walking down Pentonville Road and visiting The Long Hope at 1:39pm. 2 halves of Heineken and out at 1:46pm. I was starting to worry about making Chris go cold turkey on iTboxes when he came out with: “Lots of gentle caressing, but I have yet to achieve penetration” - thoughts of seeing Chris hump an iTbox later in the day threatened to turn my stomach. Having got back to Kings Cross it's a ride down the Victoria line to Green Park. From here go past the Ritz and turn right and head to Crown Passage for the Old Red Lion, for Pall Mall which has no pubs. Entered at 2:18pm - this pub is tiny and the stairs to the bog are treacherous - beware. Had an Adnams (me) and a Stella (Chris) before leaving at 2:24pm.

Despite not spending long in each pub we were now about 40 mins or so late. A speedy walk down the Mall to Trafalgar and right onto Whitehall - we would do a second here later for Trafalgar - we chose The Lord Moon of the Mall at 2:36pm. Bad choice - this massive Wetherspoons was heaving. Some nifty elbow work got me to the bar and served in ten minutes with 2 halves of Stella - two minutes later (2:48pm) and we were gone. Round the corner to Northumberland Ave and The Sherlock Holmes . Having got here so quick - 2:56pm - we opted for shots - a Rum and Coke for me and a Jack Daniels and Lemonade for Chris (He insists this is how Jack should be drunk) another darn expensive round. Left at 3:01pm vowing to avoid spirits unless red bull was needed.

From here to Charing Cross station and through the long maze of tunnels to the Bakerloo line and on up to Marylebone Station and its pub the Victoria and Albert for 3:22pm. Youngs for me and Grolsch for Chris. Left at 3:31pm and used the station as a chance to raid the kitty for baguette money. Whilst eating we headed back down the tube to Piccadilly to change and get to Covent Garden. Having escaped the lift we proceeded to Bow Street and the Marquis of Anglesey this is quite a nice bar with some leather sofas. Entered at 4:04 pm and had a Bombardier (me) and a Peroni (Chris). Left at 4:10pm and walked up to Holborn station in order to get the Central line to Oxford Circus.

Having exited the tube by the wrong exit as usual (I hate this station) we proceeded toward Marlborough Street and the Shakespears Head. Entered at 4:33pm and had a Spitfire (me) and a Staropramen (Chris) - we left at 4:44pm. Having surveyed the area last week I knew that the Swallow Street bar, the only bar on Vine Street was closed for redevelopment so we went to the Glassblowers Arms on nearby Glasshouse Street. Entered at 4:50pm and had a Staropramen each. I quite like this place - it is a little small but has a good atmosphere - left at 4:57pm. (unfortunately we were a good hour behind by now).

Out side it was pissing down - a quick tube ride from Piccadilly to Charing Cross was in order (strictly speaking I think this one stop journey is quicker on foot). From Charing Cross we walked through the rain to The George on the Strand opposite the law courts. Entered at 5:24pm feeling soggy and low so it was my turn for a VRB whilst Chris had a Heineken - left at 5:36 pm. It was still raining and both of us had sore feet by now. A bit further on and we reached Fleet Street where we visited the Tipperary at 5:41pm. I had an IPA whilst Chris stuck to the Heineken left at 5:53pm (we were losing time everywhere now - 12 mins is too long in any pub) We still had a long way to go (Sorry - Chris made me write that again). Now this was beginning to get annoying - we had to go back to Trafalgar Square again so on the tube at Blackfriars and back to Embankment, Trafalgar Square has no pub on it, so down Whitehall to the Silver Star at 6:20pm - an IPA for me and a Stella for Chris. This is a very nice pub and was not too busy.

By this point Chris was getting brain fade and became confused as to where we were and what was next, this second visit to Whitehall and the booze had begun to disorientate the big man. Back on the same bloody tube as we just got off and back to Tower Hill stop for Fenchurch Street Station - entered from the platform end. To the back of the station to The Fen at 7:01pm. The bar maid here didn't understand the concept of a half so we were given pints instead: Youngs for me, Stella for Chris. Despite the delays we were unable to let good beer go to waste and so didn't leave here until 7:17pm.

Feeling hungry we decided to get a couple of Cornish pasties from the pasty shop. Clutching thermonuclear hot pasty we strode out into the rain and back onto the same stretch of tube AGAIN. After a change we arrived at Leicester Square. Having finally finished my pasty we entered the Moon Under The Water at 7:55pm - 2 halves of Heineken here and out at 8:03pm. A swift walk along Coventry Street and down Oxenden Street. Last time the Tom Glib had refused me so as a matter of pride we went there again - no problems - 2 Asahi's from this Shepherd Neame boozer. From here we headed to Piccadilly Circus and the James Arms (just behind the Trocadero) entered at 8:26pm a weak ass Fosters for me and a Stella for Chris - left at 8:37pm. By this point we were both feeling good and believed we could do the final side in 2 hours. So we got the tube to Oxford Circus (we should have walked) chose the wrong exit again - arghh!

A quick walk up Regents Street to the All Bar One and two Staropramens - left at 9:04pm Again chose to take the tube to Tottenham Court Road and to the Tottenham at the end of Oxford Street . Entered at 9:16pm a Landlord for me and a Heineken for Chris. Left at 9:24pm - down the Central line to Bond Street - should have walked from here but we tubed it down to Green Park to reach Old Bond Street and the Kings Head just round the corner on Stafford Street. Got in at 9:59pm - two Staropramens later we left at 10:04pm. I was beginning to worry as the next trip is a long one. Still, got the tube all the way to Liverpool Street Station and its bar the massive Hamilton Hall. Entered at 10:45pm and had a Stella each - left at 10:53pm. We were now in the hands of late opening. After another painfully long tube journey to Hyde Park corner where we actually chose the correct exit and onto Old Park Lane and the Rose and Crown . This was open and we entered at 11:26pm - 2 very quick Staropramens and we left at 11:28pm. Surely one of the pubs on Shepherds Market Mayfair would be open.

NO! As we got there they were all shut up - they must close at 11pm. NO NO NO! What to do?! We decided to go back to the Rose and Crown, after all it is in Mayfair . By the time we got there it too was shut… disaster - we had fallen at the last hurdle. Crushed, we plodded back up the main road to see if the tube was open to take us home. Whilst walking we saw a Hard Rock Café which I had forgotten about. People were leaving. The bouncer saw us walking towards him and instead of turning us away actually said “You boys want a drink?” YES “This way fellas.” Salvation - we had made it, time 12:10am.

To celebrate we had two pints of Staropramen each and exchanged some pigeon German with the barman who I established was Philip from Stuttgart. Left about 1:20am. I wanted to get a cab and Chris wanted to walk so I gave him the A-Z (big big mistake). After a while I managed to get a well dodgy minicab who only knew Victoria, not Vincent square. This would do. Now my sense of direction finally failed and I spent until 4:20am pounding the streets of SW1 in a random backwards and forwards circle around my destination. I tried to contact Chris with the A-Z to help me but no answer. When I eventually got back I found Chris fully clothed passed out with the TV on. I shouted at him to no avail, so I left him to it and decided to rest my wounded pride and shredded swollen feet.

Tips for any potential crawlers

•  If you are going to wear smart shoes make sure they're comfortable even after 15+ miles
•  Spend less than 10 mins in each pub - in fact aim for 5 mins
•  Check opening times of the last couple of pubs
•  Walk between Charing Cross to Piccadilly/Leicester Square; walk from Bond Street tube to the Kings Head
•  Knowledge of the bus services would be an advantage
•  Unless you are minted don't touch the spirits
•  If you suffer tube delays you are in real trouble
•  Try to avoid Wetherspoons as they are always packed and the service is usually slow

Summary

				Time in Pub	Travel	Dan	Chris
Old Kent Road	The Lord Nelson	10.55	11.01	6	43	Stella	Stella
Whitechapel Road	The Blind Beggar	11.44	11.49	5	37	Carling	Grolsch
Kings Cross Station	The Duke of York	12.26				London Pride	VRB
Angel Islington	Nags Head	12.45	12.48	3	19	Adnams	San Miguel
Euston Road	Euston Flyer	13.07	13.14	7	25	Discovery	Staropramen
Pentonville Road	The Long Hope	13.39	13.46	7	32	Heineken	Heineken
Pall Mall	Old Red Lion	14.18	14.24	6	12	Adnams	Stella
Whitehall	The Lord Moon of the Mall	14.36	14.48	12	8	Stella	Stella
Northumberland Ave	The Sherlock Holmes	14.56	15.01	5	21	Rum & Coke	JD & Lemonade
Marylebone Station	Victoria and Albert	15.22	15.31	9	33	Youngs	Grolsch
Bow Street	Marquis of Anglesey	16.04	16.10	6	23	Bombadier	Peroni
Marlborough Street	Shakespears Head	16.33	16.44	11	6	Spitfore	Staropramen
Vine Street	Glassblowers Arms	16.50	16.57	7	27	Staropramen	Staropramen
Strand	The George	17.24	17.36	12	5	VRB	Heineken
Fleet Street	Tipperary	17.41	17.53	12	27	IPA	Heineken
Trafalgar Square	Silver Star	18.20				IPA	Stella
Fenchurch Street Station	The Fen	19.01	19.17	16	38	Youngs (1pt)	Stella (1pt)
Leicester Square	Moon Under The Water	19.55	20.03	8		Heineken	Heineken
Coventry Street	Tom Glib					Asahi	Asahi
Piccadilly Circus	James Arms	20.26	20.37	11		Fosters	Stella
Regents Street	All Bar One		21.04		12	Staropramen	Staropramen
Oxford Street	Tottenham	21.16	21.24	8	35	Landlord	Heineken
Bond Street	Kings Head	21.59	22.04	5	41	Staropramen	Staropramen
Liverpool Street Station	Hamilton Hall	22.45	22.53	8	33	Stella	Stella
Park Lane	Rose and Crown	23.26	23.28	2	42	Staropramen	Staropramen
Mayfair	Hard Rock Café	00.10	01.20	70		Staropramen (2pts)	Staropramen (2pts)