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The Curious Incident Review by Nick Bond
I bought this book because I liked the cover because it is
blue and blue is my favourite colour. There is a dog on the cover and I don't
like dogs because I was bitten by one 26 years ago in Dulwich Park. But I still
liked the cover because the dog is dead so it can't bite me.
I read really slowly unless it is a really good book like "On the
Road" by Jack Kerouac so it took me a long time to read this one because
when I get home from work I like to watch "Waking the Dead" and beach
volleyball on the TV so I can only read a few pages at once and I look at the
numbers of the chapters and I think I have read lots, but the numbers are silly
ones so I haven't read as much as I thought I had.
The numbers aren't really silly...a number can't be "silly" on its
own, but if it is next to something it can make that thing look silly...like
potatoes 3 pence a ton...or petrol £4 a gallon....
I like things which are unusual...like cleverly-written books...Steak
Diane…and beach volleyball...so I liked this book. But I always say exactly
what I mean, so when I say I liked it I mean I liked it. I didn't hate it, and I
didn't love it, otherwise I would have said so.
I think some people say they really love some books because if they say they
hate them, other people might think they are horrible people. But they don't
really love them, they just say they do.
Like if you say you don't like "Childrens Hospital" on tv, people
might think you don't care about children when they aren't very well. Which
isn't true...you might really care about children who aren't very well. You
might even know some children who aren't very well, but you just don't like
cheap crappy sentimental tv programmes.
Or when you see these people on BBC2 on Friday nights with funny names like Alan
Yentob and Beeban Kidron and Brian Sewell talking about a new opera with no
tunes, just funny noises, and with everyone wearing thermal underwear and
singing in German. And they don't want to say its silly and a waste of money in
case they get laughed at when they go home to Holland Park. And Holland Park is
silly anyway because it's not a park and it isn't in Holland. And Brian Sewell
isn't really a funny name. But he is a really funny man. And he has a really
funny voice.
I bought the blue book with the dead dog on the front from Sainsburys and I paid
£4.99 for it and there was a sticker on the front saying "free Sainsburys
magazine with this book". But nothing is free in Sainsburys because if it
was, Sir Peter Davis would have been sacked by the shareholders a few days after
he started working there instead of a couple of months back.
So if I don't know how much the magazine is, I don't know how much the book is,
so I can't tell you if it is good value or a waste of money.
The lady who lives with me said the magazine was really useful because it had
lots of coupons in it, for money off things she usually buys (and money off
things she doesn't usually buy).
So I think I can work out the cost of the book (see Appendix A).
I thought it was a good book. I didn't think it was a great book because if I
did I would have said it was a great book. ....but I didn't....so it isn't.
And I always say what I mean.
Appendix A
c = £4.99 - [w-x-(y-z)]
Where ;
c = Cost of the blue book with the dead dog on the front
w = The money the lady who lives with me saved by using the coupons in the
magazine
x = The money she spent on things she didn't need, but bought them anyway
because there was a coupon
y = The cost of the petrol used by the Ford Focus to drive to Sainsburys in
Haywards Heath
z = The cost of the petrol she would have used if she had gone to Tescos in
Burgess Hill where we usually go
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