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What is Rape and Sexual Assault
The legal definition of rape is sexual intercourse with a woman against her will. For a charge of rape to be brought there must be penetration of the vagina by the penis (by however small an extent). Although not all forms of sexual violence fits this rather narrow definition, they can be just as frightening and distressing as rape itself. The following can all be called sexual violence.
It is estimated that 1 in 2 women may be sexually abused before they reach the age of 18 and this can have an effect on their lives.
Most touching is safe and feels okay. Sometimes though, people do things or touch you in a way that you don’t like or want and you can feel afraid or worried. This is abuse and it is NOT okay. Sexual abuse can happen in many different forms, these can include:
These are all forms of abuse which no woman or girl should or needs to put up with. You deserve to be safe and should be protected from harm. No-one has the right to hurt you, and if they do, you have the right to speak out about it and get help.
Drug rape is one of the fastest growing crimes in the UK .Current statistics show that in over 50% of drug rape cases the drug is administered through alcohol and 70% of attackers are known to their victims. The most popular places for the drugs to be administered are in pubs, clubs, wine bars, in private homes and at private parties.
Drugs that are being used are Ketamine, Vallum, Temazepam, Nitrazepam, Rohypnol and GHB. These are tasteless and odourless and with the exception of Rohypnol are colourless. The blue dye in Rohypnol does not show up for almost 20 minutes and it cannot be seen in a coloured bottle or in a dark drink like red wine or cola.
These drugs can cause memory loss. If your suspect you have been raped whilst under the influence of drugs taken willingly or not please report it to the police. If you do not want to go to the police - go to your doctor or make an urgent appointment with the GUM Clinic to have tests done for sexually transmitted infections.
Department of Genito - Urinary Medicine (G.U.M) -
NEVER FORGET THE RISKS OF AIDS
How to tell if your drink has been spiked
Become aware of your own personal tolerance to alcohol. If you feel odd, nauseous, slightly drunk or wasted after only a couple of drinks and you know you cannot be drunk there is more than a chance that your drink has been spiked.
GO IMMEDIATELY TO A PLACE OF SAFETY.
TELL A FRIEND OFYOUR WORRIES AND GET THEM TO TAKE YOU TO A PLACE OF SAFETY. TO YOUR HOME OR TO HOSPITAL EITHER BY CAR OR BY TAXI.
Prevention - Practical steps
Plan and arrange your journey to and from home
Make sure someone knows where you are going and what time you expect to be home.
Go out with friends who are people you can trust
Agree with your friends to look out for each other and leave with them at the end of the evening.
Appoint a nominated drinks watcher to keep an eye on the group's drinks.
Do not share or exchange drinks
Stay away from people or situations which make you feel uneasy
Don't accept drinks from strangers and be especially suspicious if someone appears to be forcing drinks on you
If you accept a drink make sure you see it poured or opened and ensure that no other person touches it apart from yourself and the bar person prior to drinking it
Do not drink from a drink that you have left unattended for whatever reason
Consider your personal safety at all times
Always be aware that wherever you are, someone may try to spike your daring! Not drinking alcohol does not make your safe. Tea, coffee, milk, milkshakes and cola can all be SPIKED.
Considering that the majority of rapes are committed by men known to the woman this can be an unhelpful term as it can imply that it is not as serious a crime as 'classic rape'. it is no less distressing to be raped by someone we know and trust that it is to be raped by a stranger. It is also very common as research show: One in eleven women have been raped on a date, over one-third on their first date.
(Jane Mooney, Centre for Criminology, Middlesex University, 1993)
Women often feel guilty about being raped and feel that they could have and should have done something to stop it from happening.
Newspapers, jokes and people around us commonly blame women for ‘inviting’ rape and unfortunately, a woman’s friends and family can often ask hurtful questions. So don’t join in with the blaming of the woman, but instead challenge any feelings she has about having been careless, too trusting, or provocative and to help her put the blame on the rapist where it belongs.
It is not helpful to ask someone why she didn't fight back, why she didn't run away, or why she accepted a lift, drink etc from a man she didn't know well.
It is easy to say what we would do if we were attacked, but it is quite different when it actually happens.
If a woman has a husband or boyfriend who she sleeps with, the rape might affect their relationship.
If your partner has been raped, accept her wishes and don’t feel personally rejected if she doesn’t want to sleep with you at the moment. She may not want sexual contact with any man, either immediately after the rape or for long or short periods later. Don’t put pressure on her or try to force her.
She has already had the traumatic experience of a man forcing himself on her and she might find that any kind of sex with any man reminds her of it.
When a woman is raped or sexually assaulted the effects are likely to last for a long time.
Don’t advise a woman to ‘forget it’ – she can’t. Be prepared for her to need support or someone to talk to for a long time into the future. If she appears to have gotten over it, that could be because she feels she should have gotten over it. She probably feels she shouldn't keep bothering other people with it.
Let her know that you are available for her to talk to, when she wants to.
There are some practical consequences of rape. Pregnancy is a possibility and so are sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s) and physical injury.
The decision on whether to report to the police and face a possible court case has to be considered. Some women find it helps them to regain some control over their lives by tackling these problems themselves. Others are not able to think about them at all. Respect a woman’s feelings, but do remember that tests for pregnancies and any sexually transmitted diseases should be taken quite soon after the rape and the woman may need some encouragement and support to arrange to have them. You could offer to go with her to the clinic, police station etc as it can be lonely and frightening to go alone. She will, of course need continuing support if any of her tests are positive, or, if she has to wait for a court case.
When something terrible has happened to someone you are close to, it is often very hard to feel that you can really offer them any help. Nothing can be done about the fact that a woman has been raped and there are no easy ways to help her recover completely from the experience.
But one thing that women say to us time and time again is how much it has helped them being able to talk.
No matter how much you feel that you are being of no use, the fact that you are listening, believing and supporting them does help.
Rape in marriage was criminalized as recently as 1982 in Scotland and 1991 in England. This meant that before these dates a woman had no legal protecting for the crime of rape perpetrated against her by her husband/partner.
A woman should always have the right to say no to sex, regardless whether she has previously had consensual sex with the man or not. Forced intercourse within marriage or a relationship is still rape.
There are many reasons why a women may remain in a relationship where such abuse is still taking place.
"It (rape within marriage) totally contaminates your body when you're raped, you want to turn yourself inside out and scrub with disinfectant: you feel like an animal. In some ways it's less of an invasion to be raped by a strange. Why it less of an invasion to be raped by someone you've previously made love to? This person you should trust and is supposed to love you. You don't forget being raped by a stranger, but you're not forced to sit across the breakfast table from him"
(Marie Walsh, The Guardian, 26th September 1989)
Very often after a rape has occurred people will say things like “it’s over now, you must get on with the rest of your life.” or they will not understand why six months after the rape has happened the survivor is still suffering from the effects of rape.
This is because rape only begins with the physical act, during this time every part of the women is concentrated on surviving. After the assault, the struggle to comprehend what has happened begins. Its meaning floods over the survivor and she has got to find the way to return to her life, her body and herself.
Rape is as much as a destruction of “self” as it is an act of physical invasion. The battle between this “mind rape” and the woman’s will to find herself again is what we call survival.
Rape Trauma Syndrome is the medical term given to the response that survivors may have to rape (similar to post traumatic stress disorder).
Physical Symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome
Behavioural Symptoms or Rape Trauma Syndrome
Psychological Symptoms of Rape Trauma Syndrome
There are many influences on the manner in which each individual survivor of sexual violence copes and on the length of time the symptoms may be present. These factors include:
It is important that we recognise that survivors will not respond in the same ways. While survivors will experience there symptoms, some survivors may only experience a few of these symptoms while others may experience none at all. We must be careful not to judge whether someone has been raped by the number of symptoms they display. Because many survivors are afraid to tell anyone that they have been raped it is important that we treat anyone who says they have been raped, as if they have.
It has been observed by Gail Abarbenel, a clinical social worker, that almost all rape survivors suffer severe and long lasting emotional trauma. The most significant factors that cause this appear to be a combination of the following features of the assault experience:
The trauma is usually compounded by the myths, prejudice and stigma associated with rape. Survivors who believe these myths have to fight feelings of guilt and shame. The burden can be overwhelming especially if the people they come into contact with reinforce those myths and police procedures must not cause further trauma to the survivor who must be given all possible support to overcome and survive the ordeal.
Myths and Realities about Rape and Sexual Assault
Misconceptions, myths and stereotypes about sexual violence lead to women being blamed for what has happened to them. they also prevent them form talking about their experiences and can mean that they do not get the help and support they need and deserve.
These myths are NOT backed up by any research - in fact research disproves them. Below is a list of some of the most common myths about sexual violence. They are often contradictory; they often minimize the effect that rape has on a woman and often blame us for a crime that has been perpetrated against us.
MYTH: "Women who dress in tight clothes and mini skirts can't complain if a man gets carried away; they only get what they deserve".
FACT: No woman ever deserves or asks to be raped, no matter what she wears. People often think, wrongly, that rape happens because men get 'carried away' and can not control their sexual urges. Men are more than capable of controlling themselves, and this view does not take account of the fact that most rapes are planned and do not take place in public. What we wear or whether we look 'attractive' has nothing to do with it. Rape is a violent act for which the man alone is responsible.
MYTH: "There is a certain 'type' of woman who gets raped"
FACT: Rape can and does happen to women of all classes, ages, cultures, background and religions and sensualities, whether disabled or able bodied. to suggest that there exists a certain 'type' of woman more liable to be raped is to suggest a responsibility on the part of that woman in 'attracting' or 'asking' for the rape to happen, which is simply not the case.
MYTH: "Women make false and malicious allegation of rape against innocent men".
FACT: An experiment was carried out in the New York Police Force in the early 1070's. A rape squad was set up comprising of women officers only. All allegations of rape went to this squad and they would begin (as they would in any crime) by believing the woman reporting. It was found that the percentage of allegations of rape that wee false was exactly the same as for other crimes - 2%. Once a woman has reported the rape/sexual assault to the police, the legal process becomes entirely out with her control. There are many reasons why woken may feel unable to proceed with the case; not feeling strong enough, lack of support, being confronted with attitudes of disbelief by those around her, or within the police and legal professions themselves. in this situating, the only way out for the woman is to retract her claims, i.e. to say that she lied. Considering the traumatic nature of police and legal procedures, which women often describe as being comparable to 'being raped a second time', it is improbable that a woman would go thorough all this unless her accusations were genuine.
MYTH: "If a man takes a woman out and pays for her ticket or drinks, he's entitled to something in return.
FACT: Sexual activity should involve an equal decision between two people. A woman has the right to say 'no' at any point, whether or not the man has paid for her ticket, meal etc.
MYTH: "Rapists and men who sexually assault woken are mentally ill or perverts".
FACT: Only 1.5% of men who are convicted of rape are referred for psychiatric treatment. (London Rape Crisis Centrex 1988). Sexual violence against woken is not committed by maniacs or perverts but by sane, normal men, including : husbands, boyfriends, fathers, grandfathers, uncles, employers, other employees, fringed and so on. men of all abilities, ages classes and ethnic backgrounds perpetrate rape and sexual assault. Men known to the woman rather than strangers and madmen commit most sexual attacks. Rape or sexual assault by a person known to us is no less frightening and ordeal than strange rape, the fear that we will be injured or killed is equally as common among women who are raped by their husbands or partners as among women who are raped by complete strangers.
MYTH: "Rape isn't that serious - its just sex when a woman doesn't want it".
FACT: There is a widely held belief that women enjoy rape. Being raped in NOT unwanted sex; rape is a crime of sexual violence and humiliation, which can involve beating, physical restraint, the use of knives and sticks, urinating and defecating. Studies have consistently shown that most rapes involve physical force to some degree. It is a serous crime, which can affect us for a long time after the actual rape or sexual assault.
MYTH: "if the woman didn't struggle, she can't have minded that much".
FACT: Men are generally bigger, stronger and have more power over women. Many women say that they couldn't fight back when they were being raped or assaulted because the man was so much stronger, or they were too scared to struggle for fear of being hurt more or killed. A natural response to a terrifying situation is to freeze rather than to struggle. If a woman does not fight back, or does not manage to stop a rape it is not her fault and does not mean that she did not mind it. Lack of physical injury does NOT mean that the sexual assault was any less serious or painful.
MYTH: "Rape is an isolated act of sexual aggression, unconnected with the ways in which men relate to women in society".
FACT: The existence of myths around sexual violence serves to obscure its real cause, which is the attitude towards women in our society. Women's bodies are generally viewed as being public property, to be looked at, touched and commented upon, and raped. The impression that all women are sexually accessible to all men is reinforced thorough the availability of pornography, the objectification of women in the advertising and tabloid press and the view of women portrayed by films, television and the media, all of which add up to a basic disregard for the bodily integrity of women.
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