ACOS: A Health Warning

Health Warning!!! Acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome (ACOS)

(Acquired Immunity Deficiency Syndrome), has hit a lot of us involved in 
the canine world. This disease apparently has been around for quite 
some time but has only now been identified and has been named ACOS 
(acquired Canine Obsessive Syndrome). Recent studies has determined 
that there are three definite stages in the disease and the symptoms of 
the various stages of ACOS have been identified as follows:

A.	You have early symptoms (stage 1) if:-
	1. You think a dog show within 500 kilometres is close by.
	2. You begin to enjoy getting up at 5.OOam in the morning to 
           walk and feed your dogs.
	3. It is fun to spend several hours a day grooming dogs.
	4. You think you are frugal if you spend less than  £300 a year 
           on dog shows.
	5. You can't remember what it is like to have or to show just 
           one dog.

B.	You have definitely progressed to stage 2 if:-
	1. Your most important criteria when buying a car is how many 
           cages can fit in it.
	2. When you look for a house, the first thing you check is how 
           many dogs you can kennel on the property.
	3. Your dog food bill is higher than your family's.
	4. You spend as much on veterinarians as family doctors.
	5. You have no money because of showing dogs.
	6. You need to buy more than one vehicle a year because you 
           keep burning out the 5 year or 50,000 m warranty going to 
           shows.
	7. You keep more pictures of your dogs than of your family.
	8. Your idea of going on a vacation is going to an out of town 
           show.
	9. Most of your conversation revolves around your dog.

C.	You are a terminal case (stage 3) if:-
	1. You wake up in the morning and find that you have put the 
           kids out in the cages and the dogs in the beds last night.
	2. You know each dogs name and pedigree, and can't figure 
           out who that stranger in the house is, and it turns out to be 
           your spouse.
	3. You keep telling your kids to "heel" and can't understand 
           why they won't and why they keep objecting to the choke 
           chain.
	4. You cash in the kids education trust fund to campaign dogs.
	5. Your family tells you, "it's either the dogs or us!" and you 
           choose the dogs.

Do you have this terrible disease? Well, there is hope yet. It has been 
established that most cases stop at stage 2 and remain chronic. 
Researchers have, with great difficulty, managed to acquire several 
stage three ACOS patients. They have been put in isolation wards so 
that further studies can be conducted. It is a sad sight, seeing these 
formerly vibrant people as they shuffle around their rooms in and endless 
triangle or L-pattern, making odd hand motions holding a leash and 
making chirping noises. The mere mention of the word "Cruft's" or 
"Westminster" can send them into uncontrollable frenzy. There is not 
much hope for these cases, but with time and research, researchers 
hope to further understand the disease and come up with a cure. Major 
efforts are being taken now to identify the causative agent, and maybe 
develop a vaccine in the future.

An interesting sidelight to the disease seems to be that exposure at an 
early age has an immunising effect. Several people with ACOS stage 2 
and 3 have close family members (children and spouses) who have 
absolutely no signs of the disease.

Some researchers think that this may be due to some environmental 
effects, to an age-related immune function or maybe due to the fact that 
people in these stages of the disease tend not to associate with their 
close family members. this could also be due to the memory deficit 
induced by the disease - that is in laymen's terms, they don't remember 
that they HAVE close family members.

What can be done to prevent this disease? Until a cure is found, 
prevention is the best measure. Avoid kennels advertising "show stock" 
since dogs may be the carriers of the disease. Leave town on days when 
there is a dog show. If you inadvertently come into to contact with an 
ACOS afflicted person, shower with germicidal soap. If you are living with 
one, take comfort in the fact that if you haven't succumbed yet, you are 
probably safe.

Sent in by Margaret Fraser, Queensland, Australia

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