Winter Warmer Part Deux

by Ste Connor


Seeing as its near Chrimbo (Hanukah, Kwaanza or whatever else floats your ideological ark if Christianity aint your bag) we thought we’d wheel out this beauty to share with you. Canada Goose produce a range of darned fine outerwear to make you look just like an inhabitant of whatever that town was called in Northern Exposure while simultaneously keeping you as warm as a wallaby in wasabi. Expedition, Metropolitan, Ontario, Halifax, Constable – replete with a smashing watercolour rendering of The Haywain across the back a la them shocking Dupe efforts (not relly), and the Resolute are some of the other models on sale.


But we’re going to focus on the “Heli Arctic” parka - it is by far the warmest & most comfortable coat I’ve ever had the pleasure of sporting, these babies should come with a Tog rating. Canada Goose supply the outerwear for the Arctic program, so you know they’re going to withstand all that a blustery day in the Frozen North (or Shitey South) can lash at you. Duck down filled, they feature a “snowskirt” (trans. A big fuck off waist band) & rather disturbingly, an address label that comes complete with a space to record not only your name & address, but your blood type as well, zoinks!. The array of internal pockets on mine came with some gratis Hand & Pocket Warmers - yeah that’s what I thought, which aren’t somewhat unfortunately new products from those boffinous innovators at JML Direct.


The hood has a detachable Coyote fur ruff (geddit?.... never mind) so if you do take the plunge be on the look out for outraged PETA activists wanting to lash buckets of blood at you Carrie stylee (precisely what type of hemoglobin do they use, by the way? Human?) Branding is kept to a minimum with an embroidered maple leaf on the left chest & a rather spiffing “Canada Goose Arctic Program” woven badge on the right arm. Microzine & Urban Outfitters were both stocking Canada Goose last winter, however the prices were a tad on the strong side - the Expedition parka was, I think, a staggering £695 in Microzine! (though they are now an entirely more palatable £354 in their sale) Ebay is currently awash with jarg Chinese versions, which is usually a bad sign.


However, the natural wonder that is the internet can yield some results if you do a bit of digging, be aware though that you could get stung for a hefty slice of “Import Tax” by Customs – we certainly wouldn’t suggest writing the Post Office a cheque for the required amount then cancelling it via ones bank, as that would be illegal. Absolutely not.