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How Capitalism Works Pt 1

By Phil Thornton

It must have come as a surprise to many people Ė myself included Ė that local councils invested our council tax money in dodgy high interest offshore bank accounts in places like Iceland. Ofcourse I knew banks did this kind of thing, but once the banking scandal exploded, it soon became apparent that everyone was in on the scam; the trying to make more money with other peopleís money blag thatís been with us ever since one cunt borrowed his mate a camel and demanded two back in return. Interest! Self-interest, high interest, lost interest. Now the entire basis of capitalism is centred around this simple concept; I lend you x amount yet you pay me back x + y! The trick is having x to lend in the first place. Thatís how Crassus ended up with half the houses in Rome and why Shylock demanded his pound of flesh. Credit is just another word for extortion. You need money or goods, I can lend you enough for them but then you pay me back more than the sum leant, whether this is a few bob for a new car or the entire national debt of Africa, itís the same principle at work. Ofcourse the system is geared in favour of those who have the money to extend credit with and so different rules apply to different lenders. Thatís why Johnny DLA buys his plasma screen and sofa at Crazy Georgeís and repays back ten times the original amount and thatís why multinational banks are bailed out by Ďthe taxpayerí after running up obscene losses through poor management and worse regulation. Johnny DLA canít afford to pay back his amount? Fuck him! Pay it! Weíre tired of bailing out irresponsible spendthrifts. Johnny Banker canít afford to pay back his amount? Here have some money weíve put aside for such an eventuality and donít worry, itís interest free old boy, pay me back when you can afford it.

So, to return to my original point, anyone with half a brain knows that the entire capitalist system is a con trick that works in favour of a very few people at the very top and thatís fair enough, try yíknow revolution if you donít like it. However, once it became apparent that all these councils, charities and other organizations were also using offshore banks to maximize their yields, then suddenly I began to question the political and ethical system that allows such financial chicanery with public funds. I pay my council tax, the council collect it and then re-invest it via brokers and city whizzkids into numerous dodgy Ďinvestments.í So letís assume the Bank Of Pingu take my councilís £X and invest it in various parcels of shite, that pays the council back £X + Y. Do we get Y back? Do we even get a share of Y back? Do we fuck! What happens to Y is a mystery. It goes back into various other slush funds and accounting dodges. Does it ever show up on a ledger anywhere, anywhere open to public scrutiny that is? So the next time your council moans that it has to put up the council tax because of government restrictions or whines that it canít afford to put a roof over pensioners heads, feed the mentally ill or provide decent homes for its poorest citizens, remember the Bank Of Pingu saga and kick off like Pinguís aul fellar.