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The Kerry Katona Complex
By Mike Cotgreave
Every time Kerry Katona appears on our TV screens (the Iceland adverts with Christopher Biggins and Colleen Nolan are a particularly infuriating example), or is thrust before us by our esteemed press, it should serve as a warning shot to all those who fear the irreversible corruption of civilisation.
Kerry is by no means the cause of this cultural corrosion, but she is certainly a symptom of it.
There is no enjoyment to be gained from her bipolarity or alcoholism, but she definitely invites the sordid kind of fascination usually associated with car crashes or Hitler documentaries. Her slurring appearance on This Morning will surely rank alongside the Zapruder footage as one of the weirdest things ever committed to film.
So she's made a not insignificant fortune from exposing her private life to the nation. Is that evidence of her shrewdness and cunning?
Well, no. Anyone with a decent pair of breasts, a weird or tragic life story and the full weight of Max Clifford behind them, can line their pockets by whoring themselves out to the lumpenprole readerships of tabloid newspapers and OK! Magazine (which reportedly pays Kerry £500,000 a year to share her wisdom).
Kerry is a heroine to those who revel in the personal misery of others and think Big Brother/X Factor/I'm A Celebrity/Loose Women etc represent the crowning achievements of humankind.
For those who believe that the Age of Celebrity is not only a celebration of mundanity, philistinism and superficiality, but also a surreptitious negation of Enlightenment ideals, people like Kerry exist to remind us what we are fighting against.
If, as Marx said, religion is the sigh of the oppressed, then the Kerry Katona Complex is the righteous belch of what Hunter S Thompson called the New Dumb.
"What exactly is the Kerry Katona Complex?" some may cry, "we do not understand." For those people, it is too late. Do not pray for them; alas god is dead anyway. If you want results, do as George Carlin did and pray to Joe Pesci.
Either way, do not let the New Dumb prevail.
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