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An Apple a Day

by Bernie Bostik


The best Xmas present I have ever received was an Apple powerbook G4 two years ago. I did have to buy it for myself as my Mrs budget would only stretch to a hideous grey iceberg jumper, with a picture of a naked women adjourning the front. She has taken over the mantle from my mother of bad Xmas jumper provider. And I am waiting with baited breath for this years offering.


Getting back to the apple, I was a little apprehensive about purchasing it after a consultation with a computer geek, who told me to "go with a trusted Sony Vaio with the Microsoft package". I stuck my neck out and ordered the Mac PowerBook on line. The package arrived and I haven't regretted my decision one bit.


Before the Apple my only contact with a computer had been the odd afternoon spent in the local coffee shop chonging cones and viewing various footy sites on the internet. Or sending a few e mails after a mate told me how to set up a hotmail account. But all this was about to change the moment I got the manual out and started reading. I made a point of reading every booklet, manual and guarantee before turning on the computer. My brain was a massive sponge sucking in all the information. What was all this free software  that come with it? iTunes, iPhoto, iMovie, iDVD and Garageband. I couldn't wait to get started.




It took me two nights to load the CD collection on to it, and with it downloading all the song titles and artists names automatically while online ( saving you the hassle of typing them out ) I was made up. My credit card bill has somewhat shot up with it being so easy to purchase music through the iTunes store. I am in to buying radio shows at the moment (The mighty Boosh and the Lee Mack Show being my favourites).And I just love rattling off a party shuffle cd for the car.



Already having a decent Digital camera in my possession, which is compatible with my apple. It didn't take long for the photo library to reach a  couple of thousand strong. And with added bonuses of being able to post photo albums on the net(when you subscribe to a Mac account) and producing slide shows with a soundtrack of your choice from your iTunes library and burning it off on the DVD Burner for people to watch- is wasn't long before the family were bored to tears with the sight of the newest arrival to the family.



Move over Martin Scorcese here comes Bernie. I also have a video camera that is compatible with the apple. So it wasn't long before the invitations to film premieres round at Bernie's were on offer. I was glad to say it made my day when the Mrs had a tear in her eye not from boredom, but the beautiful emotion that had built up inside her after viewing a short film of our son with the Beach Boys belting out "When I grow up to be a man' in the background.



This great piece of software  tidy's your iMovie project up by letting you add menu pages and route menus giving it that professional DVD touch.My Road to Istanbul DVD is a must see. It's a montage of pictures and film with a running commentary by me and a Johnny Cash sound track.




I wish this type of stuff was about when I was a teenage teararse. As something like this would have kept me in doors and on the straight an narrow, instead of out on the streets causing mayhem. The Mrs likens me to that Troy mucker on that Ideal - (the one starring Johnny Vegas on BBC3) as I disappear into the spare room head phones on to bang out some mad techno/electro/jazz/rocket soul music type waffle on Garageband. I have purchased a small Midi Keyboard thing to aid me in my skunk induced loop and sample loopyness. I rattled off a few cds for the lads in car enjoyment, the feedback was  "It was like some mad Sci-Fi bladerunner type weird shit" which I took in a positive way.


There isn't a day goes by, when I am not being creative on my laptop. And it has saved me from being a soap/reality TV couch potato. Well, not really. While I used to just hurl abuse at the plebs on screen,  know I sit behind my laptop and hurl abuse at the plebs on screen.



Bernie's 'Rocket Soul Music' can be heard on Troy FM 96.234566666 reoccurring. No seriously it will be on a MySpace thingy as soon as I've worked out how to set one up.




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