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'Hamster' Relives Ordeal

by Mark O'Brien

Talking exclusively to Swine, televisionís Richard Hammond details the nightmarish day when he almost never crashed his rocket car.  "It was awful," he said. "There are times when I wake up at night, sweating, and thinking of what might have happened if the car had stayed on the track. Yes, I might have held the land speed record, but how much is that worth in terms of cash? Does it get you a serialised story in the Daily Mail or a new contract with the Beeb? Does it fuck." 

The presenter, hailed by some as the Johnny Ball of the Nuts generation, also added, "Thatís the last time you see me slumming it on Sky One."

 

Next week: That bodyguard of Dianaís recounts how close he came to obscurity when he almost told Henri Paul to "take it easy on the free bar there, greedy ticket."

 

 

 

 
   
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