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10 FAMOUS PEOPLE WHOSE CIGS I'VE LIT
By Clancy Eccles
(If you ask me for a light I'll give you a light no mither but I'll keep hold of the lighter and light the cig for you. That's the proper way to do it just because it is. It's gentlemanly and it avoids stealth lighter-taxation.)
Johnny Marr I gave him a light at the launch party for Oasis' Definitely Maybe at the Hacienda. I'd swiped a back-stage pass off a mate and went to hang-out with Johnny, Evan Dando, Alan McGhee, Mani, Bobby Gillespie and the security guard who slung me back front-stage after 20 minutes when he saw 'my' pass had a woman's name on it.
It was a pleasure firing-up the great man but I was fearful of catching that fringe and destroying the Mancunian haircut template for evermore.
Davor Suker The former Real Madrid, Arsenal and Croatia striker used me flame at Old Trafford during the European championships of 1996. He nipped out a few hours before kick-off, trying to act as inconspicuous as a man in a red and white checked shell-suit with 'Hravtska' on the back can, and asked for a light as I stood round the back of the Stretford End. He smelled like a tarts handbag and had the silkiest hair I've ever seen.
Zvonomir Boban The Serbian-copper twatting Milan and Croatia midfielder came out with Suker and they had twos on the one cig so it was only the one light to be fair but he's one of me most famous lightees and it's not an extensive list as it is.
David May The Treble-winning superstar was best mates with a kid who used to booze in The Broadway in New Moston. For a few weeks after he joined United in 95 his face was more prominent in there then it was on photos from Barcelona four years later.
He asked me for a light during a game of pool. Took one from a packet of twenty Embassy....no amateur. It looks odd seeing footballing superstars smoking. It came natural to Dave.
Paul Scholes made a few inexplicable appearances in The Broadway around this time and was rumoured to have been smoking a spliff in the car-park out the back. I did see the Ginger Prince in there once though I never saw him toking on anything and I'm sure the Asthmatic Latic never would (though there were quite a few said they'd seen him).
Mani The former Stones Roses bass man was another Broadway regular, particularly around the time of the Second Coming. He used to rock in wearin a daft padded Fuct snowboarding hat that if he wasn't Mani would've seen him filled-in. I sparked him up on a couple of occasions using me special MUFC Champions lighter which the fucker then robbed.
Cliff from Northside The bass player from Moston's Madchester 'survivors' (erm) last used me flame at a gig in Leicester on their comeback tour of 96 (erm). Banging out 'Shall we take a Trip' to student Unions was an earner but was obviously not good for Cliffs soul. I gave him a light just before he pissed on the dressing room floor and played the gig shoeless with his back to the 'crowd' (erm).
Jack Deam a.k.a. Marty from 'Shameless'. We used to live together with our girlfriends for a while. He never smoked cigs but there were still plenty of occasions he needed me flammable services. As we were often in the house I sometimes used matches, which was handy with him as he's another inveterate lighter lifter.
I like to think me skills with matches and a lighter gave him something to draw on and went some way in enabling him to so vividly portray a mad arsonist on screen.
Neil Young - Not the whiny-voiced, overly-lauded, country-rocker but the former Manchester City striker whose just about more famous in that role than Lee Peacock or Jim Tolmie.(You cant imagine how many City strikers there are to choose from when looking for examples of really shit ones. Marvellous).
I used to work with Neil and I used to give him a light most days. No great story but he is 'famous'.
John Mundy - Interestingly- haired Former North-West tonight presenter who was long rumoured to have been being closely 'mentored' by Stuart Hall. The newsman came out of Granada, turned and shouted No you piss off to a closing door and flounced over to me to ask for a light. To make conversation I asked him why he was in Granada as don't you work for the BBC? and he just replied Oh for gods sake...what's everyone's problem? before prancing off looking like Graham Norton in C&A knitwear.
Mick Fleetwood I offered the nine foot tall leader of Fleetwood Mac a light when I saw him and an entourage walking through St Anne's square the night before they played Manchester.
I usually wait to be asked but I clocked Mick struggling with his lighter and saw a means of chatting with a rock legend. He told me to piss off, the lanky, bald, MOR-peddling twat. (Granted I didnt actually light Mick's cig but I needed ten for me list and it was this or the time I lit Terry Christian's cig and mentioning his name once is once too often).
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