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World Cup Blues

By Chopper Van Bommel

Ok I admit Iím a big kid when it comes to the World Cup so thatís why 
I find it hard to slag it off. Even though I know full well the event 
is a massive cash cow and you donít need to scratch very hard on its 
surface to realise it represents everything thatís wrong about 
football. Iím not naÔve enough to think the host country will really 
see any benefits of the World Cup unless the cure for aids happens to 
be an all seater stadium. 
No, I conveniently push all the home truths about this event aside and 
enjoy it for what it is, an entertaining spectacle that I can lump a 
few bets on and watch in the pub. As cynical as I am about the 
Ďbeautiful gameí there are still some elements of it that will 
(hopefully) never change. Iím not an England fan, never have been. But 
I love the fact that when Fat Fwanks shot that crossed the line wasnít 
given, people around me wanted to invade Germany. I'm not even kidding. 
Name another sport in which you genuinely want to invade other 
countries when you lose, golf? 
It the only sport that still turns adults in blabbering idiots. I any 
walk of life, exceptional circumstances apart, grown men crying would 
be quite rightly ridiculed but in football, itís okay. Take El Diego, 
once hospitalized for too much drinking, smoking and overeating. How 
can you not love Maradona? Spanked by Germany, he still managed to 
break the record for full-body man hugs during a sports tournament.
People say the tournament was too boring. I disagree. Though not 
always pretty to watch, thereís too much at stake for these teams to 
play like the Kevin Keeganís Newcastle. If you want entertainment, go 
and watch some crap Yank sport where pretruatory gland freaks play girl 
games. Thatís why football will never take off in America, they canít 
get their stupid heads around the fact you donít have to be seven foot 
tall and be able to run a mile in 4 minutes to succeed. Look at the 
best players, Iniesta, Schnider and Xavi Ė all smurfs but all 
wonderfully gifted, in fact coming to think of it, these three would 
probably never had made it at a ĎPremierí league club would they. 
Anyway, Iím off on a tangent here - thatís my tuppence worth, I loved 
it and canít wait for Brazil 2014. 



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