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Get Over Yourself!

By Phil Thornton

 

Russell T. Davies – hey mate, it’s Doctor fucking Who, it’s not The Odyssey, it’s Doctor fucking Who, it’s not Hamlet, it’s Doctor fucking Who, it’s not Bleak House, it’s Doctor fucking Who, it’s not Finnegan’s Wake, it’s Doctor fucking Who, it’s not even HG Wells or HP Lovecraft, it’s Doctor fucking Who so shut the fuck up, for fuck’s sake you Welsh fucking whopper and get over yourself!

 

Mark Kermode – is there a smugger person alive than the MK Don? How pleased with himself is this cunt? If he was made of chocolate he’d fuck himself. Hey dickhead, no-one’s interested in your fucking film bore pretensions or your fucking rockabilly posturing, so fuck right off and get over yourself.

 

Sir Alan Sugar – Oi, dickhead, your computers were shite, your fax/email things were shite, your football team was shite, your hair’s shite, your tough guy businessman act is shite, your programme is a load of uber-capitalist Gordon Gecko karaoke and it’s fucking shite, it’d be too easy to say ‘you’re fired’ so get over yourself.

 

 

The Dambusters – you flew some Lancaster bombers and dropped a few bombs that like – BOUNCED! – you blew up a Nazi dam. No-one used the bombs again. It didn’t make any fucking difference. Millions of Jews stilled died. Get over yourselves! 

 

The Dalai Lama – eh y’baldy cunt, if you’re so arsed about fucking Tibet how about putting your fucking money where your fucking mouth is instead of talking a good fucking game and letting all them soft arse fucking monks take all the shit – those fucking monks aren’t fucking bulletproof y’know so get off your fat fucking arse and go do Buddah’s fucking work if you’re so high and fucking mighty and get over yourself.   

 

Me – eh you fucking keyboard fucking warrior, spitting out the same old envious, nasty tirades, month after fucking month just cos you didn’t make it in the fucking media and hate any fucker else who did because they’re more fucking talented than you are, you talentless fuck, who reads this fucking ‘fanzine’ anyway you self-absorbed, deluded prick, go and get a proper job and stop fucking whining you boring, boring cunt and get over yourself. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

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