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A to Z of Liverpool Bands By Ray Kingsley
A is
for Alonso - five piece retro-psyche outfit from Ormskirk who wear
Liverpool replica tops and call each other 'lid'
B is
for Bear Cub Shooting Club - four students from the Home Counties
playing mutant disco as if invented by Duncan from Blue
C is
for Colin Vole Quintet - legendary folk-jazz fusionist often called the
'Nick Drake of Netherley' by no fucker.
D is
for DiskoKometKollider - a kid from Aigburth with 40 grands worth of IT
equipment in his bedroom and zero imagination.
E is
for The El Dorados - Garston 60s janglers who make The Las sound like
Laibach.
F is
for Fuckindooneladbeforeiletthedogoff! - aka scouse house MC, MC Macca
Mc and his pitbull/hyena cross, Terrence.
G is
for Gary O'Neill - often cited as the social conscience of scouse rock
n' soul, no cause is too futile for Gary to attach himself to.
H is
for Hanover Street 4am - minimal dubstep and deep deep shitcore grooves
from Birkenhead's very own Burial.
I is
for IsRight! - five piece retro-60s janglers from Formby who wear 80s
casuals t-shirt and call eachother 'kidda'
J is
for Jonny Johns and The Johns - serial pop failure, Jonny Johns in yet
another attempt to carve out a niche for himself by sitting in Tabac
looking wistful.
K is
for Kenny Kiss - three weedheads who want to sound like Mick Head on a
rattle and failing!
L is
for Liverpool Loves Ya - six students from Wales who play retro-punk
skiffle and call eachother 'Taff'
M is
for Mildred Makin - talentless but well connected sister of veteran 80s
jinglejangle scenester Max Makin and girlfriend of Jonny Johns
N is
for Next-stop-lad! - 10 piece retro-grunge/comedy hip hop group from
Greasby who call eachother 'whack'
O is
for Onion Peel Orchestra - 35 piece classical orchestra who play Billy
Fury records backwards underwater.
P is
for Paddy Quigley Band - electric irish country mashed up with furious
scratching from DJ Bogtrotta!
Q is
for Quim - lesbian five piece accapella outfit from Lark Lane
R is
for Rooney Juniors - three Nogga Dogz and two Crocky Crocks named after
Paul Rooney solicitors, the gangster's choice!
S is
for Shalom This! - experimental avant-rock twopiece from Tuebrook with
one four hour rehearsal behind them
T is
for The Tiny Terrorz - retro-indie-rave four piece who make McFly sound
like Sigur Ros
U is
for Uncle Tommy - Bootle's top crooner and Sinatra wannabe given a
radical makeover by top producer Tony Hasbeen
V is
for Vincent Gallo and the Gallows - appalling neo-pyschobilly band from
Southport who claim to have Vincent Gallo and The Gallows as Myface
friends.
W is
for The Wallasey Whit Walk Wankers - comedy punk from a band Nige from
Half man half biscuit described as 'the sharpest satirical minds this
side of Oxton.' X is for X-Ray Dex - talentless yet well connected breakbeat six piece from Skem who play the
last
hour at all Jonny Johns celebrated house parties
Y is
for Y'wha? - Toccy's very own Tinchy Rascal - Y'Wha? can be seen behind
the counter at Rapid's screw counter when he's not grime MCing in a put
on Cockney accent Z is for The Zutons - comedy retro-60s jingle jangle combo from Luton who call eachother 'chief'
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