Home Contact Us Archive
DJ Sneak’s Top 5 Sneaks
By DJ Sneak
1 the sweet shop sneak
what ya do is ask for a quarter of rhubarb and custards or lemon sherberts or whatever jar is high up on the shelves and when the shopkeeper turns their back to get the sweets, stuff yo pockets full of milky ways, topics n’ marathons aka snickers. Works every time!
2 the tissue paper sneak
what ya do is when yo paying for like a big stash o’green or a box lot of Bobby Bulldog fridge magnets or whatever then when yo handing the money over in big piles with lazzy bands on n’ shit, stick a tenner on the top and the bottom n’ fill the middle bit wid bog roll to make it look like big fuck wads of dollar dollar bills y’all. Works every time!
3 the subway sneak
what ya do is when yo want to travel on da subway aka da toob for you limeys, don’t buy one of those pussy ass tickets, simply walk up real close to someone as they go through the barrier and walk through with them. Works every time.
4 the jarg rolex sneak
what ya do is set up a stall somewhere dead tourist-y like outside Bucking-ham Palace or outside the white house or the Eiffel tower or outside primark and put a load of jarg Rolexes on display but – here’s the catch – wear a REAL rolex you’ve loaned from say p diddy or sir alan sugar or tony hibbert and show all the fool customers the real deal but sell the suckaz em a jarg one for a tenner or summat. Works every time!
5 the Miami winter conference sneak
what ya do is grow a bum fluff muzzy, put on fifteen stone, rock a beret and a big ole footy top and walk into all these boss fezzys and clubs just by saying ‘I’m not paying I’m dj sneak me lad!’ Never works!
Home | Archive | Contact Us
Copyright © 2007 Swine Magazine. All rights reserved.