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England 's Pride

By Mike Cotgreave

I was in Manchester on St George's Day and saw smatterings of local men wearing or waving English flags. One guy even had a shirt on depicting the flag. He looked very classy.

Recognising that there must be a better to celebrate our national heritage than getting bevvied and celebrating a Palestinian Christian who, according to mythology, killed a nasty dragon, here's a list of people we should consider celebrating instead...

Watt Tyler
Led to Peasant's Revolt in 1381. A bit like the Derek Hatton of his day, but without the ego and the smart suits.

One of our greatest literary exports. His birthday almost falls on the same date as St George's Day. Personally, I'd love to see Brylcreemed fellas knocking back pints of Bombardier and reciting lines from The Tempest to each other.

Sir Alf Ramsey
World Cup winning manager back in the day, when men were men, football was football and you could buy ten pints of bitter, a packet of woodbines and a copy of the Racing Post for about thruppence.

St Patrick
He was probably English, after all.

Sylvia Pankhurst
Fought for women to get the vote. Probably one of the best Sylvias of all time.

Winston Churchill
Held his nerve against the Nazis and was the inspiration for the Churchill insurance adverts. What a guy.

Clement Atlee
Defeated the last bloke in '45 and built the welfare state. What a guy.

Margaret Thatcher
Undid much of the work of the last guy, but she also had balls and won the Falklands War (which she also helped to start by cutting defence spending). What a guy.

Bernard Manning
Now, some people might think that Bernard was a bit racist, but so are quite a few English people, so he's a perfect candidate.

Boris Johnson
Representative of England in the same way that Benito Mussolini was representative of Italians.

Joanna Lumley
She put up a great fight on behalf of the Gurkhas. Everybody loves the Gurkhas these days. I wonder how many of the people who have suddenly jumped on the their bandwagon have bothered donating to the Gurkha Welfare Trust... http://www.gwt.org.uk/

Ena Sharples
Nuff said.


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