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Bernie's Yuletide Log

 

By Bernie Bostik



Christmas as a kid.....

Christmas Eve - Leave the sherry out for Santa and the carrot for Rudolph
Christmas Day - Open presents, enjoy dinner with family, have a night in with a few family round
Boxing Day      -  Go to Nan and Grandads, play charades or other festive tomfoolery


..as a teenager (under 16)

Christmas Eve - Sip Sherry on street corners
Christmas Day - Enjoy presents and dinner with family, spend night on street corner with ale robbed from the kitchen
Boxing Day       - If Liverpool are at home go the game with mates, at night roam streets getting drunk on robbed ale, looking for a party


....as a teenager (16+)

Christmas Eve - All dayer in the town centre pubs, back to someone's house, walk home at 5 in the morning
Christmas Day  - Don't get up to open presents, show face at 6pm have two mouthfuls of warmed up dinner, head off to the local for the regulars only Xmas night lock in, end up back at someone's house
Boxing Day - Get home in the morning grunt at parents, go to bed, If Liverpool are at home miss match, get up at seven and go to the pub


....as a young man working away

Christmas Eve - Off the rattler, taxi straight to local, back to someone's house, walk home at 5 in the morning
Christmas Day - Don't get up to open presents, show face at 6pm have two mouthfuls of warmed up dinner, go the local, back to someone's house
Boxing Day    - Drag myself out of bed if the reds are at home, local, back to someone's house


.....30 year old with a bird

Christmas Eve - Go for a meal (usually Chinese), get drunk on wine, go home and open each-others presents
Christmas Day  - With no presents to open, go to my parents for dinner, go to her parents for tea, drink full bottle of vodka and end up line dancing with the in-laws
Boxing Day - Go the game, then onto some family gathering hung over


.....30 odd with a bird and child

Christmas Eve - Leave the sherry out for Santa and the carrot for Rudolph
Christmas Day - Open presents, enjoy dinner with family, have a night in with a few family round
Boxing Day      -  Go to Nan and Grandads, play charades or other festive tomfoolery


 

 

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