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The Lizard King 

By Gordon Gecko

Gecko in the corner stuck to the wall
come down here and we'll have a ball
I try and catch you almost every-night
grabbing with my hand giving you a fright
from one corner to the other you run up and down
it used to make me mad and make me frown
but now I'm not arsed and don't give a fuck
as I sit here waiting for Vaughanies new book
so come on down listen to my plea
it gets awfully lonely down here on the settee
we can sit smoke and watch the telly
in-between trips to the fridge to fill our belly
what do you eat gecko? is it just spiders and flies?
if you dig deep in the fridge you'll find some nice pies
nuke them in the mic and put them on a plate
carry on like this and you'll make a great mate
what's that Gecko? you don't wanna make friends?
well your luck has ran out and your life will end
I'll twat yer with the Times Culture & you will fall to the floor
and from your body a tail I will tore
you will fuck off on all fours leaving your tail in my fingers
while I contemplate my next move it wiggles and lingers
unlike you that is that's made a terrible blunder
running off to find a stone to crawl under
with no stone found my foot will come down hard
squishing you on the sole like you're made of lard
blood and guts will squelch out from the side
you'll have nowhere to run and under foot you'll hide
oh poor Gecko we could've been such good mates
as I sit here alone and you bang on the pearly gates








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