BANANAS

BANANAS

The London Transport Authority received numerous letters from the public complaining about the rude behaviour of Alfred Fog, one of its bus conductors. They looked into the matter and decided Alfred's behaviour was unacceptable, so they sacked him.

Alfred's case was heard at the subsequent Tribunal. Unfortunate for Alfred, one of the complaining letters was from an elderly lady who Alfred discharged from his bus between stops on a rainy night because she misplaced her ticket. The lady turned out to be the aunt of the union official on the tribunal panel. The tribunal summarily dismissed Alfred's case. As a consequence, he was black listed and no one in England would employ him.

Alfred immigrated to America where he immediately found a job. The New York Transport Authority hired him as a bus conductor. Alfred got on extremely well with the New Yorkers in his new job until one day a passenger upset him so badly that he pushed him off the bus while it was still in motion.

The passenger fell to the road, struck his head against the curb and died. Alfred was arrested, charged with murder and sentenced to be executed in the electric chair.

On the day of execution Alfred was asked what he would like for his last meal, and he said a dozen bananas. The somewhat bemused prison authorities granted him his wish as the law required. At the appointed hour Alfred was strapped into the electric chair and the switch was closed. Alfred found it a little bit uncomfortable, but otherwise the high voltage didn't bother him.

Because there was an old law still on the books in New York, Alfred was set free with all charges dropped. The law said in effect that if one survived a hanging he would be set free because it had to be an act of God. This law was ammended to include electrocutions.

Being considered a celebrity by New Yorkers, Alfred was given his old job back along with a pay raise. Things went well for a while until the same thing happened again, Alfred pushed a passenger off the bus. Like before, he fell to the street, struck his head against the curb and died. The law responded as before and Alfred was given bananas for his last meal.

Again Alfred survived the electric chair. The warden called Alfred into his office and told him they were divided on what the reason for his survival: Was it an act of God, or was it the bananas?

Alfred said, " Neither! It was because I am a very poor conductor!"

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