NBTNC Newsletter
January 2006                                                                                                                                                Volume 4 Issue Two

LONDON SEES MASSIVE 4 DAY INCREASE IN DRINK SALES !

Editorial Disclaimer:

The views expressed in any article within this newsletter do not necessarily reflect the views of any right thinking individual and as such, the Editor accepts no responsibility for any comic effect achieved. 

London Hotels, Pubs & Restaurants reported higher than average sales in bottled beer, vodka, wine and Bacardi between 12/01/06 and 15/01/06 around the Bayswater, South K and the West End areas.

Originally thought to have been caused by a high influx of Scandinavians for an Education Expo, one barman, Jesus, head barman ,Phoenix Hotel, Bayswater, informed our roving reporter "I thought that these  bloody Norwegians could drink, 'til I met the Millport crew".

At the height of these higher than average sales, one hotel ran out of lager, beer and vodka. More Bacardi had to be brought in.

Since Mon 16 Jan 2006, sales have apparently returned to their seasonal norm. Industry experts suspect this slump to normality coincides with the departure of certain Scots visitors from these areas

 

DAILY REPORT 12 - 16/1/06

Thurs 12Jan 2006 0700hrs

Departed Cumbrae on the 0730hrs ferry, having been taken there by "Herbie 2"....not a VW Beetle, but a rather nice, new Renault Scenic with auto - everything. Herbie 2 was so keen to get there he left his driver, 2 passengers, one holdall and 3 onlookers standing in Glasgow St and headed for Marine Parade all of his own accord!! Herbie 2 was re-captured a short distance away and able to take us to the ferry.

Via Tesco, Irvine for breakfast, flight caught without incident and made our way back to Best Western Phoenix Hotel, Bayswater.

An orientation visit made to the Rat & Parrot prior to a stroll through Hyde Park. A third valiant attempt was made to try and find that fountain, without success. The call of beer from the Hoop & Toy   was much stronger and the search for the Princess Di watter feature called off again. After watering and feeding, arrived back at the Phoenix just in time for the first of the Happy Hour (5pm-7pm) visits.

Decision made that we would have Italian and headed for Zizzi's, which despite being mobbed, were able to provide a table some 20mins later. This allowed a visit to  the Courtfield for liquid aperitifs and for 2 members of the group, a visit to the Prince of Teck (£6.30 for one Bud, one Vodka/Lemonade).

Good meal at Zizzi's than Tube back to Bayswater and the Kings Head (£20.17 for 3 Buds, dbl Vodka/Lemonade and dbl dark rum/coke). Then back to the Phoenix for nightcaps and emboldening Scots-Norwegian links with Bjorn and his IT group. These Norwegians can drink !

Fri 13Jan 2006

Despite sustaining a minor head injury trying to negotiate low doorway for breakfast, secretary managed to continue with his day!

Visit to London Boat Show, expansive show within Excel at Docklands. President was piped aboard HMS Grafton and managed not to cause International security incident before being poured off. Plenty of exhibits, no major purchases made other than the President securing a good discount on illuminated display nav. chart. Its arrival eagerly awaited !

Afterwards, Indian food decided upon as the choice of the day and an annual return made to the Maharajah, Bayswater, where this time, we managed to secure seats downstairs. No more elbow room than last year, but no climb up the stairs! Despite the Chief Fotiegraffer  insisting on vegetable soup for starters, he managed to get vegetable samosa!

Our waiter  (from Bangladesh) on hearing our accents was able to extol the pleasures of Scotland and question our collectively extensive knowledge of Fife for his intended visit to S. Queensferry (??), that Mecca of the East Coast! Very knowledgeable on Central Scotland after attending a short course at Glasgow Uni. (10mins). 

After an excellent meal, we adjourned to the Rat & Parrot. Everything finds its own level as they say and we were joined momentarily by the local vagrant prior to his swift removal from the premises. We drank up, just in case we were next!! 

Guess what, back to the Phoenix for too many nightcaps.

Sat 14 Jan 2006

Secretary v. hung over, nuff said!

Visits to Natural History Museum and National Science Museum. Natural History Museum, bit dry, ideal if kids with you, not too great for hung over adults who know what elephants & giraffes look like!!??!!

Now, the National Science Museum, that's a different story! A gadget lovers heaven with concise explanations on everything. Set plenty of time aside for this visit.

Turns out its also Phil's London Garage, couple of MOT's have run out, but the cars are still running fine!!!

A return to the Hoop & Toy for lunch/beer and then an afternoon siesta for 2 members, other 3 off to Tottenham Ct Rd to see electronics/more gadgets - no bargains so .........back to the Phoenix for Happy Hours!

American style food the flavour of the day , off to Bayswater's TGI Friday. Good food (£16.25 for 5 buds though). 

From there 6th on the right and 1 left turn (depending which way you turn leaving the restaurant) might take you to the Cock & Bottle without a doubt, the best pub encountered so far. Mine Host, "Taffy" Richard , undoubtedly entered into the spirit of our humour and was a generous, welcoming and entertaining host. Seriously, if ever visiting this area, this is the place for a pint or 6!

After several drinks here, at closing time, headed back to the Phoenix for too many nightcaps (again)!

Sun 15 Jan 2006

If you are good at reading between the lines (above), you'll no doubt realise that a late breakfast was the order of the day!

After breakfast, Tube down to the Embankment and boarded riverboat down to Greenwich. A good tip here is that if you have bought a 3 day Tube ticket, this counts as a travelcard and entitles you to a third off river trips!!

During this journey, the Secretary, obviously overcome by the sights from the river, managed to mistake the MI5 building for the MFI building

At the Gipsy Moth, for the 3rd year in a row, enjoyed an excellent roast lunch and couple of beers before setting off thru the Craft Market to the Maritime Museum. The lure of a massage was of course, too tempting for one member of the group (no names, no pack drill), but they did catch up with us at the Museum!

The National Maritime Museum well worth a visit and passed the rest of the day.

Journeyed back into city centre where the delights of the Sherlock Holmes and the Bear & Staff were sampled....big style!!

Two of the regular haunts of the group during London visits, both serve good drinks and have good staff (Bear & Staff house vodka is Stoli....how good is that!??). In the Bear & Staff, joined by Karen (aka Medicine Woman) who managed to drink us all under the table (that's our version and we are sticking to it!!). Hope you got home safely Karen, we very nearly didn't !!!! (Nuff said).

Mon 16 Jan 2006 0610hrs

As a result of the over-indulging by some, an early start to the day prior to travelling back North. Some even managed some breakfast. 1430hrs arrived back in Cumbrae and raised a glass to Temperance!! (Didnae last long though!)

Once collated, some  more edited/scrutinized photographs will be displayed on site.....keep checking!

 

PHOTOS

(Clink on the hyperlinks throughout to view foties, ENLARGE the new window if required to read captions!)

As promised here are the 1st batch of photos. More are awaited from the Chief Fotiegraffer, once he gets the hang of this email malarkey! Herbie 2 was the driving force of the group before we even left Cumbrae.

Firstly, better start with the poor soul who had to endure all Happy Hours with us, Jesus, barman from Brazil. Not only did he have us to contend with, but also a group of thirsty Norwegians who thought London drink was cheap (£8 for a pint in Norway!!)

Friday at the boat show, the Secretary made a small purchase (gratuitous boat picture). The President and Chief Fotiegrafer boarded HMS Grafton,  but were less than impressed with the marquee!

Here also, the group were able to find a suitable vessel for unlucky boat owner and former Homebase manager, Scott of the Predator, no watering necessary!!!

Sunday was the  trip doon the watter, a custom we started in Scotland and imitated throughout the World now. We started off on the banks of the wee stream, Thames, near to the Big Brother House, well known for its full complement of comedians. Unfortunately though Gorgeous George, Barmy Barrymore were not at home as they were on holiday at a Channel 4 resort!

Further doon the watter, we took in sights such as Fosters Folly, a monument to strength & stability and an unusual inviting building entitled EAT(?!).

Further doon stream, a striking building designed & built by Lego, allows every occupant an uninterrupted view down the river, however, some residents report difficulties with the Plasticine kitchens and the Barbie furniture!

We also saw the Canary Dwarf, now a London landmark, which, contrary to belief has no connection with small yellow budgies!

On arrival at Greenwich (pronounced gren - itch), Secretary toyed with a 2nd purchase (2nd gratuitous boat pic), but decided it was impractical as Ryanair are very strict regarding hand luggage weight.

Further on, we recreated a picture from 2yrs ago when we featured our Professor at the School of I.T. Two years on and it couldn't be more apt.

After providing visitors to the Maritime Museum the full benefit of our extensive knowledge, we headed back to the West End of the town centre.

Sherlock & Holmes made a return visit for the benefit of the tourists, before heading for the Bear & Staff, hats off to the staff!

We were joined there by Medicine Woman, who after being introduced to Laurel & Hardy, (who had come out of retirement), was able to assist with a diagnosis of bus electrical problems and suggest remedies, prior to escaping to sanity. The Presidents dietary requirements were abandoned!

The following day, it has been alleged, that 2 members of the group were a little under the weather, however , as can be clearly seen, there is probably a very good excuse for the deceptive appearances....decide for yourself here!

More will follow, you have been warned!!

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