Firstly, let me introduce myself, Beef Sandwich, or for short, Beefy. I am actually a two and a half inch (seven to eight centimetres to those of you who don't understand what feet and inches are) woollen red and white doll whose actual name is Sampson, named after the mascot of Sunderland A.F.C. You may ask how a two and a half inch high woollen doll has managed to travel to so many places and is able to so loyally support the lads in red and white, Sunderland.
The answer to this is I have a six foot two inch human pet who does all the hard work for me (including writing this web site). He took some taming mind you and you can't keep him still for more than five minutes. A particular specialty of his is to fall down holes in the pavement and to run into people, because he just doesn't look where he's going. Fortunately, he's retired from one of his former bad habits, karaoke machines, which is just as well, because his singing was so bad, that one night someone got up and hit him. Oh, you keep him away from girls as well - his chat up lines are cringingly corny. But that aside, he has his uses and getting to travel to all these wonderful places and to the Stadium of Light on a match day, are the main ones. Best of all, Beefy gets to go along for free. And here I am, the one and only Beef Sandwich.
Apparently, there's also a parrot lurking around who wants to take over this website - all that's known about him is that he's called 'Poll'. If you see him, beware, he likes fizzy drinks. So don't leave you're Cola or Lemonade lying around.
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