National Marriage Week

From the Reverend Tim Ling, Vicar at St. Swithun’s Bathford

Agatha Christie once said, ‘An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.’

In my job I get to meet many young people preparing for marriage. It is a privilege and a joy to see and feel something of their excitement and anticipation. But it is also wonderful to meet people in the village who have been married for 40, 50, even 60 years, whose interest in and appreciation of one another remains as they grow old together. They are a tremendous example to those of us who have been married a far shorter time and to those contemplating getting married.

Rarely do such couples talk of decades of unalloyed marital bliss. (Somebody once said, ‘Couples who claim they’ve never had an argument in forty years either have poor memories or a very dull life to recall.’) Instead, they speak of working at things, patience, coming through hard times, perseverance, and learning to accept one another.

Sadly, sometimes even these things are not enough and marriages do break down, often after couples have struggled bravely for many years to make them work. When this happens it is the support of wise and loving family and friends that is needed above all else, and the good news of God’s compassionate understanding and forgiveness that can give the strength and hope that is needed to go on.

Equally, it is true to say that you do not have to be married to find happiness and fulfilment. Opportunities for a breadth of rich friendships and personal development exist for the person called to the single life that are not open to those who are married. Jesus himself was unmarried and lived the perfectly fulfilled human life.

Nevertheless, marriage remains an institution to be celebrated and encouraged. It is not always an easy thing, it is far from a straightforward thing, but still the vast majority of people want to say that marriage is a profoundly good thing: good for the couple called to build a life together, good for the children born and brought up as part of this shared life, good for the wider society which benefits in so many ways from the personal stability that marriage provides.

Yet for some reason you rarely hear this said. If you believe the television sitcoms and the movies, a fulfilling marriage is about as rare as snow in the Sahara and life is far more exciting with the odd extra marital affair thrown in. But this is a lie. An affair has the most catastrophic effect on the physical, mental and emotional health of all those caught up in its destruction. Whilst, there are many who will testify to the richness of married life: of growing and developing together as one, and, on the other hand, of helping one another to become the individual person each has it in them to be.

This year National Marriage Week is from February 10th - 17th. Why not do something to celebrate your marriage, or that of someone you know, during that week?

At St. Swithun’s during the 10am service on Sunday, 17th February we will be giving thanks with those who are married and there will be a simple opportunity for people to reaffirm their marriage vows. You are, of course, very welcome.

With best wishes

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