My family came from Russia... away from those dreadful, dreadful people... worse than Hitler... like Hitler only worse... Sally...
Stalin?
Stalin... Sally we used to call him... we didn't really know what people were talking about... we had no idea what they were talking about... until we actually saw them hitting people... for no reason except it was their... their worship... instead of worshipping the almighty or anyone else you might like to think of they worshipped hating people... terrible thing is when you look back on it is what on earth did these poor people have to do with it? They had no money, no food. My family came from Russia... I was born in London... my father and mother were married when they came over here... married to people that they knew very well... no distinction amongst people... there couldn't be a distinction... what really typed it off was me... they tried to murder me... the Hitler people... with a huge umbrella... it was their new invention... and it was only me that came forward for it for no reason... I don't remember that... I do remember that there was a lot of fiddling there... I do remember people shouting at each other and screaming... 'The little shit'... life's very awkward you know? The things you remember and the things you don't remember... bombing morning noon and night... we couldn't sleep... you could go out and pick up a bomb in your hand... houses left like little bits of coal.
My family settled in the East End of London... such a lot of them did... nobody else would take them... this Hitler person... he dribbled out all sorts of terrible things about them... they were too harassed and too miserable to do anything... especially when it worked out that eventually I was going to be murdered... by a new umbrella or something it was... I was drowning three times an hour back then... looking back it was the most important thing I ever did... I can't forget it... that the wind and the rain always settled on me... to show the Germans they also had something... why they all did it nobody ever knows until this day... but when it comes to agony... it was really done by the Hitler people... they did it because they thought it was a marvellous invention... it wasn't really... it was just to kill people... the only people who were not scared were the children because they didn't know what it was... you could hear the noise... buzz... it wasn't the noise to fear it was what was in the noise... children aren't that daft... I think I told you about the life balloon... they blew the balloon over... the Germans... the Germans told everybody that this is the last measure... they put me in a... what do you call it... it looked like a bath... that was the whole point... I can't even tell you where I was... it wasn't a balloon it was a rocket... I think of it as a balloon because I was small... we heard them... we must have done because we stood in the street... we heard them... I wonder why it is I can remember these things... I'm wondering now if I'm the only person who remembers that incident... surely I wasn't the only one without bread?
I was born in the east end of London... in Stepney... I can't even tell you exactly where... I must have known it at some time... Jubilee Road... yes... a shortish ride.... Jubilee Road... Jubelieve me? My father managed to get a job as a tailor... needle and thread... I remember his hands working up and down... he worked hard... very hard... he knew what he was doing... it must have been his career in Russia but I decided to ask him on a day he wasn't very well... all I got was leave me alone or stop shouting or something... you don't know what kids catch when they're at school... this that and the other... he became a tailor and a very good one I might say... I'm not telling you he was good I'm repeating what people said about him... you couldn't go far wrong with a tailor... we all tried to help him... working together... but how could we when one would have a little child's pants to sew and the other a tall ladies dress?
He was always frightened of giving me away and I don't see why... I think it was this new tangle of Hitler... everybody was terrified... everybody from every country that ever came here was terrified... I remember my schooldays... The teachers would always give me the books first... hundreds of books... my father was so proud... it made him feel British... he said to the teacher, 'This is the most wonderful thing... in a miserable garret you've got an important child". He had no idea what a garret was... it wasn't just that he wanted to be British he just wanted to be in with the people who were in so it would make more room for his own children... so they wouldn't be killed... it's always opposite me now that school... they sort of... they didn't boast you... they didn't scream at you... "A nice thing to be", they said... so they put me in a little machine box... but it wasn't... it was there... I was given it with my face on it to make sure that nobody would take me away from me... it was easier when I was left... I had to be left at some time... mainly for a piece of bread... terrible times... you couldn't hold on to your bread... but to find out that London was without bread because of a strike... and they said it was the Jews... me and my mother and father that was taking away their bread... my parents especially suffered because they didn't know what to do with the children... it was a bit more than serious than laughing... I often ask myself how did my parents manage? But they just didn't... we didn't starve... the bread may have been stale but we didn't starve... they used to wet the bread to make it soft... pat it with your hands.... all they would say was, 'you should kick him in the teeth"... all I could say was "Why in the teeth?" ... So we shared... my brothers and sisters... William... Sadie... Kitty... Wednesday... Thursday... don't know that one... this one was Selfridges or something... 2... 4...6... about 8... I can't guarantee every one.... seven or eight. I was the third or forth child... I always wanted to be someone special... I wanted to go on the stage... it wasn't because of me it was because they looked so pretty and I looked so poor... I thought I might have been a dancer... I always regretted not trying... as it turned out I opened a tobacconist with my father... I used to put the tobacco in the little bags... I didn't mix it... it was too expensive... they'd just give it to the dogs... my parents always had sympathy for dogs... I can't imagine why they were more important then their own daughter... and my mother got a job making buttonholes... she made them beautifully too... imagine me walking all the way back from the Kings Road with another little girl... even in the dark... I can't understand it... nobody hurt her... nobody touched her... nobody even shouted... it was just the fact that we were there... frightened of anybody strange... it was ingrained in us... we didn't know... we didn't have trees but we had an appliance... a thing you could put in to make light... so you could see where you were going so no one would carry off the two children... always concerned for children.... and food... nothing really changes... people are the same generation to generation... and now look at me standing in this empty shop trying to look back on the things inside me... you think you're remembering all these things but they just won't stick in the head.
I didn't ever want any children... I thought they would all have been crying for bread... then there would be another strike and they would start calling me bloody Jew... it carried on... the first man made out he was a marvellous man... that dirty old man was a marvellous man... charging everybody a pound... and people bought... I commented on it in no uncertain way in Jiddish and in German... he was forced to take it down... people who went to Georgetown starving and all the rest of it... I made him... she made him kneel down on her news... his knees... on the newspaper and say I apologise for the rubbish I wrote... that person was worse than Hitler... what I never understood is every person has got something different about them... what is so terrible to me is... say they've got green teeth... say they look different why is it that people think it makes them ignorant? It's a dreadful thing ignorance... it's not changed... even those windows... I remember them and they're not the same... I always seemed to find the person lurking round here... it's such a lovely word lurking... I once thought I might try to write but that sister of mine... the one who thought I was mad for writing my comments... she didn't know a thing... I carried on writing... I wrote the book anyway... I wrote the book... this book I'm speaking in peculiar English because I couldn't write very well... I didn't want people to correct me... it wouldn't have been mine then...
And later I stood on speakers corner one day... yes I did... and it was raining... my mother was only worried I would catch a cold... she didn't understand what I was talking about... I got all the people together... and all the bread that I had... and I cut them up small so I had a piece of bread for everybody... I thought that would be a good idea... in Hyde Park there were people who were rich and respectable... lots of money but they would not give a child a piece of bread... I saw it... I wanted them to see it... and I could never understand it... In wanted to force this poverty down their throats... the Chelsea people were terrible... separately they were nice people but they were afraid... I mean look at me... they wanted to take the bath out of the cold water were they put me to rest... for no reason at all... they wanted me to lie in that bath until the end... until I die... that was in the West End... you wouldn't believe it now would you?
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