Viper Returns To London
I did quite well this time. I got to where I was staying by 7:20 AM, six hours twenty minutes after I got on the road, & I only got lost once around Birmingham because of all the roadworks. I ended up approaching the M40 from about 5 directions before I got on the bloody thing, in the right direction. It was a foot down job then to get past the M25 before rush hour.
I started pacing a van at around 90 mph. After ten minutes or so I think I freaked him out. Then he started pacing me. So, I put my foot down & left him behind before mellowing out to an average 87 mph all the way to the speed camera signs of the M25. Trying to do flat 70 mph is a work of concentrated genius along that road as it goes up hill & down dale. Of course it doesn’t help if the pilot’s started the journey by dancing himself very sweaty at a Fun Lovin’ Criminals gig at Liverpool University Montford Hall on six tea spoons of ‘special extract’ first.
Anyway, I got to where I was going, & in good time for a sleep before my meeting. By 12:30 PM I was on my way to London Bridge to change & get to Notting Hill Gate. Getting out of the underground I made my way down a busy Portobello Road noting that Dean at Braintree Hemp Clothing is still in business. I walked into Alchemy & Lee Harris greeted me with a complaint about his sound system. One of the speakers wasn’t working. It sounded like a short to me. He asked permission to use our review of the ‘Alchemy C.D.’ on his website. I gave it. We chatted a little until his friend from down the way came over to fix the sound system & allow Lee a few minutes to talk over some business with me.
While I was there Lee informed me about the Camden Mushroom Co. who have an open air market stall just under the bridge by the Alchemy shop. I investigated & sure enough there they were doing a brisk trade, selling by the 10g, 15g & 30g. I scored 10g of Philosopher Stones. Though I wanted to talk business with them, it was not going to be possible under the prevailing conditions. I had a way to contact them later, so I didn’t worry over it. Besides it gave me the opportunity to be treated like Joe Punter & so really make an impartial judgement on the goods.
They were delivered 10g for £15-00 in a little brown paper bag in the manner in which apples & bananas were being sold further up the street. They were weighed out in front of me. Visually they looked very good. Lee had said he had tried them the weekend before but found them too strong. I did not ask how many grams he ate. I could see little flecs of mycelium on the firm fresh truffles. I was too tired today. The gig & the drive were taking their toll on me. I was also hungry. Remembering a Chinese place I had a good meal in last visit I set off in search of it.
It was somewhere close to Carnaby Street.
Walking up towards Remond’s sleaze joints strip before turning
left & up a bit towards Carnaby a tall thin black girl of a mid
thirties appearance with thin dreads & a bloodshot left eye propositioned
me. She was dressed casually in a pair of blue jeans, black boots &
‘street’ jacket. After engaging me in a few minutes conversation,
I was promised a $65-00 hour of unabashed lust, an £80-00 lesbian
show, this, that, the other “You can suck my black nipples ….” I was too tired & too hungry to be tempted. As we parted company a guy I estimated to be in his late twenties approached to speak to me. The girl turned to speak to him cutting off his advance, I didn’t stop to hang about. I was too close to a shake down.
I wandered around Soho looking for the place I’d been to before for more than half an hour. Eventually, almost too tired to continue I came upon another Chinese place. It was just slightly away from the main action areas, painted light blue & situated where I could see the place name of Greek Street plainly reflected in the mirrored interior where I sat gazing out of the window just pleasantly stoned.
I ordered a hot & sour soup starter, a spicy pepper duck dish (they gave me a little dish of Chillie oil to go with it upon request), boiled rice, a pot of Jasmine tea (no Oolong) & a half bottle of sake. Before going in I had swallowed three tea spoons of extract that I had brought as a present for somebody else. They had given me it back within seconds of examining the colour & texture of the extract claiming that it would have been too strong for the individual concerned. Their loss I thought a I swallowed it.
The meal itself was exemplary & I enjoyed it tremendously. I must be getting better at this timing lark because as I came out of the Chinese place I began to rise on the extract. I had a goodly buzz happening from the Sake too, but it had only served as a vehicle for the extract to permeate my bloodstream. It was clocking along by now & as I said before I was tired. I took a walk through Soho at dusk with a half hearted desire to get laid. I did not get propositioned again.
I made it back to Wallington with time enough to try a pint in the pub ‘something Jackson’ a former chemists, & across the road at the Whispering Moon. Last time I had passed this way I had nearly gotten laid in the ‘whatever Jackson’. I’d got talking to some folks & been invited back after the pub. I had everybody wrecked before going ‘home’. It seemed like a reasonable idea to see if something similar might be in the offing. It was not, & the cider was so bad I left a third of a pint on the bar & just walked out across the road to Whispering Moon. It was a little more lively but it made me feel old. Perhaps it was the extract, perhaps not.
Sunday 14th September
I woke late for me. It was turned 10 o’clock. By the time I’d washed, dressed & breakfasted it was gone 11:30 AM. I had conducted all of my business the day before. Mark at Edit was unavailable this weekend & so was Gary. That meant I had the next two days to myself. I’d have been O.K. with opening one of the books I’d brought with me, some T.V., & a trip down to the local after, or for evening meal, but that would have put my hosts out and anyway, how often was I in London with some Philosopher Stones ?
I prepared the night before by putting a little Woods 100 rum into two of the little measured bottles of extract I had brought with me. At 3-00 PM Sunday I was in the little park to the right hand side of the House Of Bullshit overlooking the embankment. I’d had a few stealth pipes along my way here but it was here I flushed out some of the extract bottles before eating the Philosopher Stones. I hit the stealth pipe a few more times. At one point in Westminster Square (a tradition now) where some young skate punks were practicing. By the time I was walking straight down the middle of the road checking the architecture & playing spot the security camera that ends with the Clive Of India statue there was no disguising the fact (at least to my own mind) that I was tripping. Taking real interest in the architecture along the way just as I passed by Clive I entered the park. I found a tree to sit under & took a hit on the stealth pipe. Unhappy with my position I moved under another tree & took a few more hits on the stealth pipe. There were two lovin’ couples within smell range, but they showed only mild interest in my activities.
After I felt rested I made my way through Horse Guards Parade & managed two leisurely long hits on the stealth pipe before re-joining whatever the fuck it is that takes you to Trafalgar Square.
Did I take a hit on the pipe in Trafalgar square, I don’t remember, though I did later. In fact I don’t remember much except coming back to the park I started off in to chill out, smoke a bit & do the second bottle of extract & rum. I was feeling a bit intense trip wise. Since dropping the ‘shrooms I’d been through Soho again, Piccadilly Circus & around. Then I realised I was tripping. So I went back to where I started to smoke & get me head together. There were trees and open space, quite a lot of people, but enough distance between them.
I was aware of the sky changing from day to dusk as I changed from my T-shirt to shirt. I was sitting on a bench that showed my back to the road through bushes. I toked on the stealth pipe needy of its succour & warmth. I had already knocked back some rum & extract whilst seated, but needed the cerebral rush that can only, it seems, be afforded by smoking hashish/marijuana. After something like a half dozen serious hits I began realizing that not only was I peaking off the ‘shrooms I was also coming down off them. Whether the exract had an effect in nullifying them I can not be sure. I may have been the Woods 100 for all I knew. Whatever I decided to move on towards Trafalgar Square. Shortly before Trafalgar Square on the right hand side I walked into a red painted pub and was served with a large Glenmorangie & a pint of cider, £7-00 odd.
A black girl, very attractive, came to the bar. I drank another pint in top up halves whilst I tried sussing out if she was with her boyfriend. Still tripping I gave it up before I attracted too much attention, & just fucked off. I made it to Trafalgar Square as full darkness descended. I was told that Charring Cross was the place after dark to be propositioned. Is it fuckin’ bollocks. I walked around that place fully ten minutes taking hits on the stealth pipe & gazing off at the view from the balconies where the skate punks were practicing tricks.
Traffic Square
Alright I was goodly buzzed off the ‘shrooms, extract & booze by now, but all I saw was a number of skate punks doing tricks. I couldn’t even see a hat. None of them were approaching the gathered gawkers & I couldn’t see any obvious signs of pick pocket operations from a crowd accomplice. I looked over a stoned railing & hit the stealth pipe before I moved on.
Marble Arch
It was coming close on 9 o’clockish, perhaps a little later. I was not too worried. Whichever way, I was back in Wallington at 10-57 PM. I was hungry too, as I hadn’t eaten since 11-00 AM–ish. Then only a couple of pieces of gluten free loaf, (each piece is about half the size of a normal slice). Up the side road of the Whispering Moon pub I found an Indian /Nepalese (14, Rosss Parade, Wallington, Surrey, tel : 020 8296 6669. For something like £6-50 I had Onion Bahgies, Chicken Vindaloo & a bottle of Spa blue. I also had a goodly chat with the proprietors. A move to Liverpool is not beyond the realms.
I got back to where I was staying & made use of the kettle for some Oolong & Woods 100.
Monday 15th Sept 2003
I got going late. The ‘shroom session caught up with me along with the lack of sleep. I had to drive back home tonight, & I needed a good few hours sleep first. It was clear I was expected out of the house until late afternoon. So I headed in a lazy manner to Brixton. Nothing special happened along the way or even while I was there. I spent an hour to an hour & a half walking my way around the market. I was so tempted to buy so many types of fresh fish from the many stalls that seemed to line where I walked. I knew they unfortunately would not survive the journey up to Merseyside. However I did indulge in the African/Jamaican banana of so many Brixton stalls. They are the ones that look off if your unfamiliar with them. They are not like ordinary yellow bananas. The shade of yellow is different, as is their standard width. They are slightly larger than a usual yellow banana. They also taste sweeter. Sugary even. I’m told they taste really good fried. They tasted good as they were to me.
While I sat on a wall eating my banana & watching the groups of police (3, 5 & 7 at a time, within minutes of each other) harassing passers by & anyone blasting out Reggae from a car, a short haired black fella crossed my path enquiring if I toked. I replied I had some, checked the sketch with his comararderie’s & left before I caused them undue paranoia. After all, I was only a visitor & I had my own smoke & extract. Besides, I was tired from my tripping & alcohol come down. I had a long drive in front of me that night. It was time to head to base. Those I was staying with would be out until 9 o’clock-ish.
When I got back to base in Wallington I was just in time for those I stayed with too go out & do their thing. I checked the telly for a while then went to bed knackered. You got to remember, Viper has M.E..
I awoke several times, not really used to sleeping during the afternoon except during need, but managed a good & needed rest before giving up to wakefulness around 7:15 PM. Just in time to have a smoke from my proto pipe & make some Oolong tea before watching Peter get in the real shit from both wives on Coronation Street.
My hosts came in 5 minutes from the end of Corrie pt.2 & mercifully left me to enjoy it though joining me. I had a lovely meal after extract & then, at my leisure I hit the road. I think 85 mph was my average all the way home. I left Wallington at 9:30 PM, I was in bed at home with my most appreciative cat for comfort by 2:40 PM.
Viper 17/9/2003 ___________________________________________________________
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