After the passage of time and several glasses of amber liquid it was again proposed that a few of us would go in support of our PGSR, to Guernsey for the investiture of a new PGSR for the Channel Islands on the 25^th April 2009. Following the exploits of the Isle of Man last year this came as some surprise to the ‘never again’ brigade.  However after some arranging and several e-mails the number of supporters was 4 + the PGSR, 5 of us. 

Through good planning (happenstance) we coincided on the same flight and the same hotel-Green Acres in St Martin, Guernsey.  Rendezvousing at Manchester on Friday morning of the 24th for check-in and security checks – this time we lost none of our party and a strip search was avoided even after the PGSR – set the alarm off. 

Our group consisted of:-
      Right Worthy Bro. Ian Hamilton Taylor - Provincial Grand Supreme Ruler
      Very Worthy Bro. Brian William Wood P.G.V. - Deputy Provincial G.S.R.
      Very Worthy Bro. John Barnes - Past Assistant Grand Director of Ceremonies
      Worthy Bro. Alan Briggs, Prov.G.V.
      Worthy Bro. Mike Hamilton

The short 1 hour hop to Guernsey passed uneventfully, which is more than can be said of the landing. 

I like to think I’m a seasoned flyer and know a thing or two, such as; the plane normally lines up with the runway before landing and not parallel to it, but then again I’m not a plane driver.

There was a very strong cross wind and first one rear wheel touched down with such force that the shock absorber was fully compressed causing the whole plane to rear – up 5m slewing sideways onto the other rear wheel hitting with such force to twist and shudder the whole of the fuselage, opening lockers and throwing things to the floor. 

I wasn’t worried, no I wasn’t, well not until I saw the steward in the fully crouched crash position, and the vicar with his eyes closed praying - then I was worried.  Eventually I think the guy with the white stick managed to get all three wheels down at the same time then executed an emergency stop.  Someone said that the co-jockey has to practice landing and it could have been him at the stick - but I couldn’t see the stewardess with the wonky eye, so I don’t know.

Was this an omen to our visit to the Island?  Well now we are here!

Now; I was nominated driver because I don’t drink – if I do I fall down, oh! I know so does everyone else after 10 pints but I do it after a few sips, so driver it was. 

The brand new Galaxy hire car was collected from the airport, with just 200 delivery miles on the clock.  Brian had directions to the hotel and Alan had different directions.  Now; when we left the airfield and one says “turn right” and the other “turn left “ - you know it’s going to be - well interesting.  Brian (who has a cub pathfinder badge) and Alan who says “we’re not lost - I just don’t know where we are” gave directions.  Our 2 ½ mile journey to the hotel went as well as could be expected and the hour passed quickly, which is strange because the locals say you are never more than 20 minutes from anywhere! 

We quickly booked in at the hotel and now time to explore the Island - first stop the capital - St Peters Port - 10 minutes away.  Driving to the strange local traffic laws took some getting used to - no speed cameras but an open speed limit of 35mph and 25 or 20 in the towns and villages is strange but reflects the way of life which is much more relaxed that the mainland.  The filter junctions system work well, you soon get used to them after the first near miss and I soon mastered this local intricacy.  We did, for 15 seconds, get into 4^th gear (of the 6 gears on the Galaxy) this was out past the airfield on the highroad.  St Peter’s Port has the one and only dual carriageway on the Island and I attacked it with vigour for all 200m of it in second gear and 20mph only to be overtaken by a local boy racer in a souped up Citroen Saxo (who flagrantly disregarded the speed limit and passed me at a frantic 23mph) - such is life. 

The Crown Inn, our first liquid port of call, became our local.  Following lunch it was time to visit the underground German hospital and take in some of the interesting local history of the occupation, this made us respect the duress they suffered during those dark days of World War 2. 

How come the locals (Donkeys, as the Jersey Islanders call them) have such a friendly disposition?

It must be the island which is green, verdant and full of flora and relaxed - great people and a great place. 

That evening we enjoyed a first class diner at the Hotel before returning to our local - The Crown Inn. 

Saturday the 25^th saw the Investiture at the St Martin’s Masonic Centre, this was a difficult place to find and we asked the locals for directions several times and ended up asking our receptionist at the hotel if she knew where it was, “yes” she said “but it’s a secret” was the answer, this was no help at all but we were not deterred.  Alan now promoted to Number 1 navigator after successfully getting us to the Underground hospital via Queen Elizabeth Hospital and Edward the VII Hospital astutely resorted to studying the map and the Masonic Centre was there clearly marked, near to the Secret Bunker. 

The purpose built Masonic centre is wonderful, looking like a pyramid with the entrance lobby housing a display of Masonic regalia and medals, and the function room with high roofed pyramidal design dominating the building.  Downstairs in the basement are the three temples and committee rooms, the main temple is decorated with a mural of a landscape of rolling hills and cypress pines and if you looked carefully you saw the Masonic hall itself on a hill in the light of the sun, I think it was a depiction of Jerusalem.  On one wall were the painted remains of a ruined wall, very like the ruined wall at Roslyn, which I think is meant to represent the wall of King Solomon’s stables occupied by the Knight Templar.  The investiture was a grand occasion and the new PGSR of the Channel Islands duly proclaimed after a wonderful ceremony.  When the visitors were introduced West Lancashire’s contingent had grown to 7 when Alan Bibby (Right Worthy. Bro. Alan Bibby, Past Prov. G. Supreme Ruler), and his son (Bro. Andrew Bibby) joined us.  We were, well entertained and dined on delicious local produce - English Loin Pork, Jerez sherry Trifle and Premium Brie, oh and Jersey potatoes, followed by Colombian Coffee and Swiss Chocolates.

Following the formalities and a quick change of clothes it was time for the grand tour of the island.  Now I know why the speed limit is 35mph because you can’t do it!  No road is long enough or straight enough except for the big wide one in the centre of the island but we kept getting buzzed by planes there.  After driving with each mirror in the hedge and blind corners every corner I soon learned to get into the Guernsey mood and relaxed at 15mph and enjoyed the scenery.  The Island really is beautiful and can best be described as ‘quaint’. We explored the island and went down to a beach, gingerly inching between the walls and the sides the mirrors brushing the hedges out of the way as we went down a steep hill to the beach.  Our brand new Galaxy, now with 235 miles on the clock creeping further and further down the hill until suddenly the road ran out with a 3 foot drop onto the beach we slid to a halt just inches from the edge.  Nowhere to turn round, we couldn’t even open the doors to get out for the walls on either side; there was no option but to reverse back up the hill. This was very slowly done, inch by inch, “What’s that smell” someone said, I just ignored them I was so intent on picking my route back up the lane through the smoke.  ‘Smoke what smoke!’ - when we got to the top of the hill, at the junction we were able to turn the car round but there were no gears in the box and we were too busy choking on the clouds of blue smoke from the burning clutch.  “It’ll be alright when it cools down” was the consensus, so when I could find one of the gears in the box we resumed our Grand Island tour, “go faster to cool it down” I did and risked a heady 18mph, speed freak that I was, after all I was on holiday.

The tour ended back at our local - the Crown Inn.  A Great atmosphere and pretty scenery with a new shift of bar staff every 3 hours, why people were asking for bottles from the bottom shelf I’ll never know.  Our resident fortune teller – Alan (No. 1 Navigator First Class) forecasted the result of the Man U match on the wide screen, 5 - 2 and some friendly banter with the opposition supporters followed and low and behold  5 - 2 final score.  Alan was right but he’s not so good on lottery numbers.  Sun down and sundowners all round at the Crown, what a way to end the day - oh and another glass of water for me!

Sunday 26^th and a gently drive round the island, arriving back at St Peter’s Port.  Here we visited the Castle Cornet fortification in the harbour joined by a causeway constructed in the 19^th Century with contributions from the locals.  The Castle is well worth a visit with 6 museums including a maritime one and Squadron 21 RAF Museum, both fascinating.  The maritime museum included a large oil painting of the consecration of the causeway with a crowd painting of the ceremonial occasion.  And there in the crowd as honoured guest was the 1860 PGM of Guernsey in full regalia along with his deputies and high senate.  To the left was a full turn out of the local masons in all their aprons and collars, under their banner in procession - a wonderful sight. 

We waited for the 12 o’clock salute, when a red coated captain of arms, in 19 century British Army tunic and colours paraded out to the cannon emplacement and following a short ritual at the twelfth stroke fired the cannon.  I knew what to expect and had my hand covering my ears, I only jumped 6 inches unlike the visitors from Japan near me who jumped so high they fell over the wall, I think that’s the ninja spirit.  The sound of the cannon echoed around the harbour with a great boom, a very spectacular way to mark the midday salute.  What a great way to end our visit to the Island; to go out with a bang.

P.S. - I can still smell that clutch - It’ll be alright when it’s cooled down

Oh! - The guy with the white bands on his sleeves drove the plane home - uneventfully.