ISLE OF WIGHT FINES LIST
Krizo The stuck van.
Making the beds for Lee and Ollie.
Telling everyone ‘captaining is so easy I could do it from the stands’
Telling David to ‘SIT BACK DOWN’
David Williams Making the bus stop for his cheese sandwich.
Telling the barman that he was ‘not doing his job properly’ Wrong!
Complaining that ‘it is not a proper beach’ Wrong!
Being last on the bus despite lecturing everyone on proper time
keeping. Then complaining that everyone was too quick!!
Waking up the fines secretary who had found a nice peaceful spot on
the boundary.
Announcing ‘this is NOT a leggies wicket’---------Ollie took 6.
Sliding up to Ollie and saying ‘Hey Ollie they have a nice little
Wendy house just round the corner’
Watching the youngsters playing and announcing ‘they are all sweaty
young men over there.’
Telling everyone that ‘Tigers don’t eat Mars Bars’
Ollie Busting Lees hand.
Having heard that M Holding was known as ‘Whispering Death’
Suggesting that He could be ‘Silent Noise’
Telling everyone that he ‘did not care’ about getting out. Huh!
Constantly saying ‘David-------------I love you’
Thinking everything named Bailey is named after him.
James Fellows Not liking curry,
On miss-hearing a conversation asking ‘who is selling cocks?’
When captaining complaining that ‘they were always too many
People complaining’ -----------pot and kettle!
Buying a cuddly toy tiger for his lady.
Entering JH twice in the scorebook them telling the selection
committee that they had cocked up!
Lee Having weak bones!
Announcing that he did not like IOW chickens because the had once
chased, pecked him and made him cry!
Taking his iron on tour.
Ironing his jeans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Upsetting Jim. ‘the reason you cannot run between the wickets is
because you are unfit’
Simon Making the Chairman drive!!!
Cheating! (Opposition lotto card)
Getting up first.
Tom Describing a woman with ‘breasts like a pineapple’
Having the club captain teaching him how to eat curry.
Quote:- ‘I always feel a bit sick after a mouth full of head’
Quote:- ‘ I really don’t like the bits in Orangina’
Abandoning Orville at the ground.
Jim Quote:- ‘It would be wrong’
Being ‘particularly stupid and blind’ when mistaking a picket fence
for a boundary marker.
Being a member of the B’ham Navy. (getting cut off by tide)
Quote:- ‘I have eaten 2 flies on this tour’
Quote;- ‘I am batting politically’
Setting fire to our toaster!! Blaming it on Woody!!
Allowing Lee to upset him!!
Steve Eating too much curry and getting stuck in his pullover.
Describing his gambling debts as ‘only in theory’
Being late for the bus despite having sarcastically lectured the fines
secretary on correct time keeping .
Missing the bus and the start of a match because he ‘was tired’
Thinking that a friend of his once lived in Osbourne House.
(never having heard of Queen Victoria and Osbourne!!)
Colin Not finishing a beer provided by the club captain
Trying to stab a duck with his fines pen!
Tripping over his shoes laces.
Tim Laughing when the fines sec got a duck.
Tim (ted ted the navigator) admitting that he had been a bit
too clever when navigating to the pub.
Woody Not carrying his special Hawksworth pen-------for the first time ever Locking the club captain in the chalet.
Farting loudly in chalet at 6.30am every morning.
Filling the chalet with ‘strong’ smoke.
Corrupting the youth!
Emile Fingering Woody for farting.
Steph Not liking curry!
Trying to peep at fines book.
Martin Locking David in his chalet.
Forgetting his box. Then loosing his bat on way to crease.
Forgetting his towel.
Having to explain his crap attempt at a joke, then complaining
that everyone was ‘weak brained’.
Brody The most undignified exit from crease.
Having weak knees
Buying up every available copy of Daily Telegraph in IOW