10 Characteristics of The Company Car...

Accelerates at a phenomenal rate.

Has a much shorter braking distance than the private car.

Can take speed humps at twice the speed of private cars.

The battery, radiator water, oil and tyres never have to be checked.

It can be driven up to 60 miles with the oil warning light flashing.

It needs cleaning less often than private cars.

The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material.

Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio.

It needs no security system and may be left anywhere,  unlocked and with the keys in the ignition.

It is especially sand and waterproof for barbeques  and fishing expeditions on remote beaches.